A Day of Gratefulness - time to give thanks

photo by revivalartstudios  rastudio.com

Yesterday marked the celebration of a dream;

the dream of a girl to sing and to share her songs.

It was a beautiful day and I am so grateful.

I had a thank you speech prepared for last night - and I forgot to give it!

But maybe this is better, because I can get it all out here and make it public

Yesterday was huge day in my life ......so many small baby steps to make one big step

I have taken many of these steps in solitude

in the hidden places of my heart

but recently these steps have had to be more public and I've taken more 

risks in sharing my dream with others...

and then allowing them to join me in my dream.

Last night I felt so honoured by so many who have come to 

believe and celebrate this dream with me.

I felt incredibly supported and surrounded

and I want to thank those who gave of their energy yesterday and in the days 

leading up to this event in incredible measures.

I want to thank the musicians for encircling me with their presence and musicianship - 

Philip Janz, Brian Thiessen, Peter Davyduck, Kevin Boese, 

Jonathan VanDyke, Boris Sichon, & Rebecca Sichon.  You all were such a joy to work with last night.

I want to thank Terry Neudorf for all the incredible work he did for me with the sound.

I want to thank Steve Klassen and his team for setting up my 'forest' and creating the space for my heart.

I want to thank the women who baked for our half-time food - the money donated goes to support someone going on a Silent Retreat at the Mark Centre; 

Joyce Kehler, Brenda Janz, Cathy Crawford, Evy Klassen and Wendy Vandenberg

I want to thank Deborah Handley and her team for organizing the 

front door and CD sales - incredible job!
Thank you to Charlie & Connie Peters for being the fire wardens for the evening.

I want to thank Darcie & Jason Brown for their photography which has been donated for this Love Shines CD and Release Concert. Your work has brought beauty & dignity to this project.

Thank you to David Vandas who did the video work last night - it was a privilege to have you come and share this night and record this memory!

Marika - your energy these past two weeks towards making this evening the best it can be has been such a beautiful gift.  You have gone way past any expectation I ever would have had and have blessed my socks off.  Wow - and wow.

thank you to everyone from Emerton Records who came out and supported this event and supported me personally throughout the evening.

I want to thank Evy Klassen for introducing me and being the amazing friend that she is in my life.

I want to thank my family who was there; my husband Brent and my daughters Pera & Brianna - all my siblings were there; Grace, Val & Randy - and their spouses; Steve, Ingrid & Dave.....

 my nephew Steve from South Carolina, my neice Karen from Vernon.

Thank you to all the other friends, extended family, and all other guests for coming and making 

April 16, 2011 an incredible celebration of Love Shining!

Jonah, the time in the whale is over

photography by revival art studio rastudio.ca


This morning I was telling Marika, my new friend...
(more about this amazing woman in another blog!)
how I've related to the story of Jonah.  It really is a great story - of being swallowed up.
It has been a story I've related to as I've gone through  a huge period of my life where
dreams felt swallowed up and it was dark in the belly of the whale.
We've been conditioned to be afraid of darkness.....and I was very afraid of my own darkness.
We've also been conditioned to disapprove of unproductive periods in our lives -
but when you're in the belly of the whale - it's hard to be
extremely productive.
We forget what happens in nature in the darkness.
Under the ground is all darkness - but that is where growth happens..
it is where a seed is safe enough to develop...
it is where the roots of a tree develop to sustain a marvelous plant
 that gives life to others.
It was in my darkness that my soul was born again.
I came alive there in the darkness....it was slow
but it was real.
And now.....now is a new day.
I've been spit out of the whale. It feels a little scary at times.
But it is time.  Time to tell the stories.
Time to sing the songs.
The songs that came in the darkness have powerfully impacted me
and I am ready to share them
with you.
Hope to see many of you at the concert tomorrow!!

'and this is grace.....an invitation to be beautiful'

this week an angel came to me

her name is Brenda

She's a real person, but this week she was an angel too.

I guess she was paying attention to something beyond herself

She was thinking of me and felt she was to give me a song

She bought me a CD and brought it to my house

She had no idea what was going on for me

She had no idea what I needed

But she listened and followed through 

and showed up at my door

with a gift

of a song

This song has a line in it that has been going 

through me over and over

'this is grace...an invitation to be beautiful'.

Sometimes it is easier to wear clothes of shame, guilt, fear or anxiety.

It takes courage to 'rise up' and put on clothes of dignity, self-respect, and beauty.

To own our 'beauty' we must believe in our intrinsic value as a human being.

To embrace our 'beauty' we must know deep down we are treasured.

To embrace our 'beauty' we must BELIEVE

that we ARE somebody

To embrace 'beauty'

is to embrace a belief that Life is beyond just 'survival' - 

Life is worth celebrating.

Life is beautiful

We are beautiful

Let us see the beauty in each other.

Love Shines

Release Concert - this Saturday April 16th - 7:30pm 

Matsqui Auditorium Abbotsford

tickets available on-line:  Emerton Records

Love Shines now on ITUNES!!!!!

special pre-release price this week

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rise-up/id431629421?i=431629476&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

Life is full .......full of joy and sorrow - all mixed together!  A friend from my faith community died this past week, my parents are in frail health, and life feels fragile on multiple levels.  At the same time, I am captivated by watching an eagle soar over my head as I pause in the woods, the beauty of the daffodils blooming in my studio, the smile of a child, the clear, kind eyes of a stranger looking at me, the glory of a song, the warmth of a friendship, the warmth of the sun on my face.  On Saturday I will sing.  i will sing with my brokenness.  I will sing with my humanity.  I will sing with joy.  I will sing with knowing of great beauty and the power of love that is beyond all things.

Looking Up

photography by revival art studio rastudio.ca

Yesterday we looked up 

It was the one year anniversary of the 

passing of Christian Friesen, my nephew 

and a few of us gathered at the cemetery to 

place his ashes in a beautiful wall, called Dogwood.

Instead of hanging our heads in sorrow, 

we released balloons and 

looked up.

It was a sign of hope

A choice

to keep going-

to have faith in tomorrow

to keep dreaming-

to LIVE.

Yesterday was also a celebration of a birth

....I picked up 2000 copies of Love Shines !!

My goal was to have it ready by March 25 

so I could give the first copy to 

my brother and his wife...

and that happened.

Love Shines in the middle of our darkness

Love Shines is a CD filled with hope. 

I'm so excited to share this with everyone.......

soon.....

April 16th - come to the 

CD Release Concert- 

and celebrate LIFE with me.

'singing through it all'

today I felt tired.  It has been a wild 3 weeks.  Dad has been in and out of surgery and things are still uncertain for him as he remains in ICU at present. Mom has been a trooper but fighting her own health issues & caring for dad.  My sister Grace had a heart attack.  My sister Val had to deal with a biopsy that we found out yesterday was cancer free (yay).  We are also facing the one year date on Friday for Christian, the son of my brother Randy.
wow - some moments have just felt completely overwhelming.  At the same time I've been aware that many people go through moments like this....life sometimes brings things on a pile.
I've been reminded of some of the words from the song, Courage for Today.....coming out on the Love Shines album.
I sang these words to myself today as I walked through the woods.....

'my song.....my song is singin'
my song is singing
my song is singing through it all
Because Love is strengthening me, givin' me courage for today,
Ya, Love is strengthening me, givin' me courage for today.'


lyrics from Courage for Today ......from Love Shines  - being released on April 16th, 2011

photography by Revival Art www.rastudio.ca

Song Stories 
Love Shines CD Project

'Breathing Together'

Ps. 23 ’you make me lie down in green pastures; you lead me beside quiet waters. you restore my soul.’


This weekend I've spent time with both my parents in Vernon, most of our time together being spent in the Intensive Care Unit.  Both my parents are physically exhausted from the stress they have lived through these past 2 weeks in particular.  They are also facing much uncertainty in the days ahead.  Dad is still in ICU and his condition is 'serious'.   There were moments in our time together where we shared great memories from the past, laughed about crazy moments, and spent time in quiet silence together - overwhelmed at the present circumstance.  A couple of times, I said to dad, 'let's just breathe together' and it was a way to share our time together without need for conversation.
The concept of 'breathing together' has become powerful for me these past few years.  One evening 4 years ago I was having a difficult time and having a hard time breathing due to stress.  A friend came, placed her arm around my shoulder and didn't say anything.  She just 'breathed' with me, until my own breath was steady and calm. Somehow the power of her presence was much more powerful with quiet breath than with any words she could have ever said in that moment.  


The song, 'breathing together' reflects the heart of this experience and the invitation to rest that I find in psalm 23.  

excerpt from 'Breathing Together'  from the Love Shines CD

When my soul is weary,

when my heart is heavy

Then you come & you tell me

Lie down, lie down

As I rest my body

then you lie beside me

And you breathe with me

And you breathe with me

Today - In ICU

I arrived in Vernon today.  My dad has been in ICU for the past week due to severe complications from a surgery and has come close to death.  Right now his condition is serious and we don't know what the next few days will bring.  On Sunday, my older sister Grace had a heart attack and joined dad in ICU.  Needless to say, it has been a rather stressful week for all of us.  Grace is recovering and will probably be discharged tomorrow.
I've been very concerned about my father and it was good to finally be at his side this afternoon and evening.  Tonight became a significant moment for the two of us.  It is hard for dad to talk and each word takes time to be formed and communicated.  He made a big effort to communicate some things that were on his heart for me.  He told me that life is too short for dreams not be be realized.  He reminded me of some of the difficult years I have been through and that he admired me for keeping a dream alive in spite of so many challenges.  In short, he offered me a blessing and let me know that he 'sees' me and is 'proud' of me.  This is a great gift and one I will cherish as I live into my dream of sharing my songs.

And so on behalf of my dad, I invite us all to pay attention to the dreams that are deep within our hearts - listen to them, nurture them, honour them - life is too short not to live into them.

Stories from Love Shines
Steven Lacoursiere
Nephew Extraordinaire

Steve was born when I was 11.  I'll never forget how excited I was when he came into my life!  I was the youngest of 4 kids and I was thrilled to have a new baby come into the family.  As Steve became a toddler and young child I spent a lot of time playing with him and taking him for walks around the

 neighbourhood when my sister would come home with her family.  Steve was a precocious child and seemed to always get into mischief.  But I adored him.

Steve has had a huge part in the Love Shines CD especially over the past 5 weeks.  He has put together the graphic design for the album which you will see in a few weeks.  He has put in countless hours over the phone with me and invested his evenings and weekends into this project as a gift of love.

To receive all that he has done for me is very humbling and I am truly grateful.  Yesterday topped the cake though as he made extra phone calls on my behalf to deal with some practical challenges we were facing.   He really didn't need to do this for me, but he did.

I love this guy - have ever since the day he was born.

And I think I am now realizing - he loves me too.

Thanks Steve.

photo by revival art studios  www.rastudio.ca

Love Shines CD Release Concert

April 16, 2011

7:30pm

Matsqui Auditorium Abbotsford

I want to sing.

This is the message that came up from my core that day 

12 years ago

when I stood on the street corner of North Decatur Road and Clairmont in Atlanta, Georgia.

I had been asked 'what do I want'? two weeks earlier by a professional trying to help me deal with my deep depression.  I was dumbfounded by the question.

I had no answer.

all I could think of was what other people would say.

I had lost my voice.  I didn't know who I was or what I wanted.

I didn't know my own heart any more.  I was asleep.

I held this question throughout my days and nights and to my great surprise, this childhood longing emerged that day as I waited for a cross-walk sign.

I paid attention....and auditioned for a community choir.  it was the beginning of finding myself again.  My voice was soft and weak....frail.  But I sang with this choir for 3 years and gradually grew stronger.

It has been a journey - to find my voice...a long, long healing journey.

This concert is a celebration of that journey.

I invite you to join me as I sing.

I want to share these songs with you and with as many people as I can.

you.....are on my mind


February 24 - yesterday.  Was and is a big date now for the Hardy family.  3 years ago yesterday, my nephew Trevor was killed...   hit by a drunk driver.  He was just approaching his 19th b-day.We gathered last night at his parents, Stephanie and Arwit Dueck to celebrate his life and remember him. It was a great time.  But of course filled with pain as well.  


And today....February 25 is the 11th month anniversary of the death of my nephew Christian, 17 years old...son of my brother Randy and his wife Ingrid.  We are approaching the 1 year in March and part of me can't believe that he has been gone this long. 


For both of these families, they have had to face shocking loss, unbearable grief and the choice of how to now live.  To choose LIFE in the midst of such sadness and loss takes incredible courage and dignity and strength.  To observe this in people you love is truly inspiring.


The question has come to me - how will you then live?  How will we all live?
There is a quote by St. Irenaeus that has come to reside deep within me - 


'The glory of God is a human being fully alive'


To be fully alive is perhaps the best answer I can give....to choose to be present, to choose life, to choose gratefulness, to choose to take risks in following dreams and passions...to fully live....is how I can say to these two boys I love.......Trevor & Chris.....you are on my mind

A Journey into Gratefulness

'Do you think this just another day in your life? 

 It's not just another day.  It's the one day that is given to you. 

Today.  

It's given to you.  

It's a gift.

It's the only gift that you have right now.

And the only appropriate response is

gratefulness'  

Brother David

I am inspired every time I take the time to listen to Brother David and his invitation to a daily life of gratefulness and to be present - to fully engage with what is right now.

What am I especially grateful for today?

amazing friendships

dreams being realized

generosity of strangers and loved ones

photography by revival art studio  www.rastudio.ca

a tribute to my mom.....

This week my dad turned 80 and I wrote a bit about him.  But now I also want to write a bit about my mom and what I am so grateful for in my mother and how these elements have influenced my life and this Love Shines CD.

As a child one of my best memories of my mom is following her through the woods of Harrison Hot Springs.  She would go many Saturdays into the woods to collect ferns, moss, pussywillows and wildflowers in a huge basket she would carry with her while my brother Randy and I trailed behind.  At home she would turn these wild elements into enormous displays of nature (and works of art) that would greet people at church the following morning.  As my brother and I would follow mom in the woods I remember sometimes being afraid of wild animals.  There were stories of bears and cougars around Harrison and I was terrified of meeting my end along a lonely forest trail.  But my mother seemed to have no concerns such as these - she not only walked in the woods, she marched in them as if she owned them.  My mother loves the  outdoors and has never been one to show much fear.  If she wants to go somewhere, let nothing stand in her way....even a bear.   Mom has also spoken lovingly of her childhood in the prairies and walking out in the open spaces by herself.   I don't think she was afraid then either -  she loved and still does being outside in nature - and celebrating the beauty that she finds.  She has built enormous gardens, made special places for birds to come, and makes an effort to go walking outdoors as many days of the year as her health and the weather allow.

I think mom's love of the outdoors got into my skin and down into my bones.  Breathing that wondrous fresh air every day, looking at the amazing mountains around me in the Fraser Valley, and spending regular times walking in the woods has become like my daily cup of coffee....how could I survive without it?  ( I definitely CANNoT survive without my morning coffee!)
Mom - thanks for your enthusiasm for the beauty that surrounds us and having the eyes to see it and appreciate it and for taking me into it.
There are many more things I can write about my mom - but that is for another day and another blog :-)

APRIL 16th - YOU ARE INVITED
LOVE SHINES RELEASE CONCERT

Well.....a major step has been taken and the Matsqui Auditorium has been booked for a LOVE SHINES CD release event on Saturday, April 16th at 7:30 pm.
Tickets and posters will start going out next week - but I wanted to announce the date today to let people start to know.
More info to follow next week!

Song Stories #11
The Journey of Being Known - and the story of the bent over woman

photography by Revival Art Studios  www.rastudio.ca

Today Shaw Cable is airing a segment on me, my career of teaching piano, and the journey into my own music.  I have watched the clip twice now before anyone else will see it.  Part of me is terrified for anyone to watch this.  The camera comes very close to my face - revealing all my imperfections!  If beauty is skin deep - then I want to run and hide!!!!  I've struggled often with my appearance ( as many of us do!) ....and it is intimidating to allow the public to come so close to me.  However, a comment has been ringing in my head that a close friend spoke to me last week:  ' Cathy, trust your presence.'  What kind words - and words that bring me back to truth - that it is our essence that we bring to each other and that is truly 'beautiful'.
To know our own inner 'beauty' is a difficult journey for most of us - it sure has been for me.  My inner heart has been 'bent over'.  One day when I was struggling in particular with my life and how my heart was feeling - I went deep into the woods of Mission for a walk.  I poured out my heart there.  And then I saw this big stick and felt compelled to take hold of it and walk with it.  As I walked with this stick, these words poured over me; 'Rise Up Woman- Rise UP'.  Wow - to be called to rise up - lift my face to the sky and stand tall - when I sure didn't feel like it!  But it was a call to me - and I had a choice in how to respond.  I have realized at times it is almost more comfortable to stay 'bent over'.  I am less visible there, I can allow self-pity there, I am not responsible there - I remain a victim.  When I lift my face up and stand tall - I take my place and bring my presence.  This is terribly frightening - to be fully present.  But I am learning it is also a great gift.  It is a gift to myself, to others and to the One who gave me breath.  To live small and bent over is to disregard the gift of Life that has been given.  To embrace this Life in me - means saying YES to being fully alive and allowing others to come close to that Life in me....and allowing you to see me on Shaw Cable!!!
You will see my imperfections - but hopefully you will also feel my 'presence'....which doesn't have an image factor value placed on it - which is incredibly freeing.

Here is an excerpt of the words to the song that is on the Love Shines album that came out of that experience in the woods;


Rise Up  (and it is the black soul woman in me who sang this song - you will see!)


when my heart was troubled, I went to the woods to pray
when my heart was troubled, I went to the woods to pray
In my darkness You sang to me - woman, I have set you free
Take off the chains of sorrow, remove the veil of fear
find you courage, find your strength
lift your voice and stand up straight - Rise, I'm calling you to rise


rise up woman, rise up
rise up woman rise
rise up woman, rise up
rise up woman rise

there is a Gospel story from Mark 13 where Jesus healed a woman who was 'bent over'. He broke all the social taboos by speaking to her, inviting her to stand with the men and also touching her.  I love, love, love this story and it has also become my story in this song.

Happy 80th Birthday Dad 
Stories for Love Shines - the blessings from my father.....


My father turns 80 today.  It is a huge milestone to reach 80 years of living.  Dad has experienced cancer for the first time this past year and gone through 2 surgeries but is coming out strong.  He has been determined to live life to the full and has stayed active in any way he can.
As I have reflected on who my dad is, I am grateful for many qualities he has.  One quality that has been a real inspiration to me is his love of staying physically healthy and strong. He learned to ski in his 40s and continued that sport until last year - he hopes to hit the slopes again.  He plays tennis, bikes, and loves a vigorous round of ping pong.  His activities have put him in the top percentile of his age group with health and given him a wonderful quality of life.

Another gift my father gave me was his own journey in following his dreams.  After being a pastor for many years and then a counsellor, he decided to go back to college and become an ESL teacher.  To make a decision like this at 65 years of age takes a lot of courage, sense of adventure and determination.  To pursue following the Love shines project - I have had to face the fear and thought in my head - I AM TOO OLD - it is TOO late for me to dream.

But knowing that dad kept dreaming about new things and then trying them out has been an encouragement to me in my own life to take risks and to try.
Perhaps the greatest gift he has given me that has influenced my life and is truly a part of the Love Shines album. The gift my father gave me is his life of prayer.  As a child, if I wanted to find my father, I would look for him in his home office.  Many, many times I would silently open the door to find my father on his knees by his office chair.  He would be holding his head in his hands and all was still and quiet.  As a child and teen I knew that my father greatly valued his spiritual journey and that it was the centre of all the decisions he made.  He sought through prayer to find strength, direction and wisdom for his role in the community and his personal life.
One way that dad pursued his life of prayer would be to go away for personal silence at retreats throughout the year.  It would be time set apart from schedules and demands and would be filled with time to listen and to rest.
It has been a discovery for me in my 30s that this practice of time set in silence is a powerful gift.  These times for me have become like anchors in my life....setting my course and giving me stability.  It is a gift to know that my father also lived this way and maybe without realizing it, set an example of a lifestyle of prayer.



Happy Birthday Dad - thanks for all you are in my life.

photo by Darrell Lecorre

Song Stories #10
Love Shines

This song has a long and continually emerging story - I will share some of it here.
It was the last day of recording the 'trust...inspirations from taize' CD (fall 2008) when I was in the studio with Philip. We were working on the last song and I remember thinking to myself that I had just used up every last drop of material I had - and there would be nothing left after this moment.  Philip received a phone call then and so I took a break and lay on the floor in the studio and rested.  In that moment, light shone through the window onto my face.  As I received the light coming to me, the first part of the Love Shines song just came to me.  I was so gripped by the simple melody and simple lyrics that when Philip did get off the phone and we had to get back to work, it was hard to concentrate.  So, Philip helped me by recording a few lines of what I was hearing so I would remember it later and come back to work on it.  And that is what I did and how the song became a song.  It became a sign of hope to me that my songs were not yet over and that song-writing days were still in the works for me.  I had dreams of embarking on my own and creating a Love Shines album - but it seemed like a daunting task.
In early March of 2010 I went to see my friend Christina Kautz in Florida.  As I walked into her home, she had all this imagery of stars and moons.  Immediately I wanted to sing for her the Love Shines song, but I didn't have my ukulele and she didn't have a piano - and so I let it go.  Then bizarre moments started to happen!  She was planning on taking me to a house concert with Victoria Vox, who I didn't realize at the time is a uke musician who was flying in for this event.  Victoria flew in a day early and we happened to run into her.  I found out she played uke and she graciously showed her instrument to me and I asked if I could play Christina Love Shines.  Victoria listened as I played and then told me about a Ukelele compilation album happening and the cut off day for entries was in 2 days and she thought this song would be perfect.  So, she asked me to sing it again and she recorded it on Garage Band on her MAC laptop and then we sent off the application.  Love Shines was accepted for this uke album, Song Still Remains,  which came out later in 2010 and thus the 'single' became born which helped me continue to dream about the larger project.
Just before I was to professionally record the single with Philip, my dear nephew Christian died.  I was so devastated that I cancelled the recording.  I just didn't know how I could do it.  But after two days, I realized that Chris would have wanted me to sing and to do my best and to bring the message that Love Shines.  So, I called Philip back and told me this, 'of course you need to do this Cathy.  This is exactly what you need to do.'  So, I recorded this song in the midst of intense funeral preparations and sang this at Chris's funeral.  I will never forget that moment.
So - this song is full of story - joy and heartache.....all of life.

here is an excerpt of the words:

Starlight  
Starllight
Starlight shine on me


Moonlight
Moonlight
Moonlight shine on me


Sunlight
Sunlight
Sunlight shine on me


Source of all light shine down
Source of all light shine down 
Light shines and darkness flees
Source of all light shine down
Source of all light shine down
Source of all light shine down on me

Song Stories #9

It was the afternoon the day of Myron Berg's funeral that Philip Janz, Boris Sichon and I were working on the song Prayer - which is a chant I wrote this past year.  Boris plays the didgeridoo as a low drone while I sing the chant overtop.  The low drone takes me to ancient sounds...sounds I have heard from other cultures and time periods.  It was a 'moment' during recording when Philip and I looked at each other and each expressed the same thing - 'I was thinking of Gillian'.  Gillian is the wife of Myron, who stood and expressed such deep love for her husband that very morning at his funeral which Philip and I both attended.  So, Gillian, you were on our minds and hearts as we recorded these sounds and words and as you choose each day to 'breathe'.  But I hope these are words that we can all resonate with - we all have a choice each day how we will choose to live.

In the video above, you can get a taste of the world music that Boris has in his fingertips.    At about the 4.30 minutes mark you can hear him play the didgeridoo which we have used on this  piece.  

Here is an excerpt of the words.......

As I breathe in a new day before me

I breathe in Life

Fill me with courage to face the unknown

I breathe in Life

Fill me with wisdom for each step ahead

            I breathe in Life

Deepen my roots that I may taste joy

Deepen my trust that I may know peace

            I breathe in Life

            I breathe in Life 

excerpt from Prayer from the Love Shines CD

My Daily Woods - My Daily Bread

So, since I've been talking about my woods a lot - I thought I'd take you right into them. February 1st was a beautiful sunny day and so here is a little clip from my walk that day.

It is hard to really explain what these woods have come to mean to me, but I will try to express as best I can what I have learned and absorbed from this beautiful place.

 Life is beautiful - when I take time to really look...and take in the sky, the mountains, the trees, the eagles.....there is so much beauty.  I am invited to celebrate this beauty. It is a gift for us all.

If I am able, I long to absorb this beauty and carry it within me.  The openness of the sky, the strength of the mountains, the dignity of the trees, the playfulness of the birds.

When I walk with Indie in the woods, she teaches me to be present in the moment.  No use thinking about yesterday, or worrying about tomorrow.  Right now, there is a stick to chew and a trail to run on.  let's enjoy NOW!  There is something about being fully present to the moment that is full of joy.  It has been a hard place for me to find, but a dog always lives there it seems! So, Indie is my teacher in finding the present moment and leading me to gratefulness.

This week I brought two camera crews into my woods!

Jason Brown from Revival Art Studios was shooting pictures for the Love Shines CD project.  His photography has won many awards and is absolutely captivating.  I am so honoured that Jason and Darcie are adding their talent to this project.  You will see some of these wood shots on the CD Jacket!

  

Shaw Cable also came this week for an interview!  They interviewed me about my work and this will be aired in the next couple of weeks - will be posting more about that!  We ended out time with Shaw Cable following me out to the woods!  

Eagles and Ukeleles and Zip Lines

June 2010 I was at Whistler and facing a huge fear of heights as I was strapped in the harness for the longest and highest zip-line in North America.  It is called, 'The Eagle'.  After you are buckled in, you have to walk down some steps and then basically leap into the open air trusting that the harness will not break because if it does, you are 20 stories above ground, going over a huge gorge between two mountains.  I was so freaked out.  I went up and down the stairs about 3 times and wanted to back out.  Finally I realized that the only thing holding me back was fear itself.  I decided to trust the harness and trust the guy that put me in the harness! And jump!  I screamed all the way across the gorge!  I'm quite a chicken I guess - but no, actually in that moment...I declared myself an 'eagle'!  I was 'flying'!!

As I stepped out with the Love Shines dream this fall, the feeling from that zip-line kept coming back to me...and I realized I needed the same courage as I had in that moment - the courage of the 'eagle' to leap off of what was familiar and 'fly'.  I found this artwork on Pender Island by Christian Riese Lassen, which then became symbolic for me as I entered the recording.  I have looked at this art every day in my office and have asked for 'courage to fly'.

Last week, my new ukelele came.  I am really, really pumped about this uke.  It is a very good looking instrument - I mean no embarrassment at all about this baby!  I thought, maybe I should name this thing!  So, I picked up the label that came on the uke and on it was the word, 'Aquila'.  I decided to look it up on Google.  

To my shock, the definition of Aquila is:

'EAGLE' in Latin!

It is also a constellation - and the song that I play the uke on is the 'Love Shines' - all about starlight!  Isn't that CRAZY?????

Singing with Rebecca; 

Winter is Over

Song Stories #8 for Love Shines

When I was a young girl, I loved to sing. I would often sing alone on Saturday mornings in the parish church that was on the same property as my home.  It was my job to dust the pews and window ledges but instead of working, I most often swirled my dust cloth around and watched the dust particles dance in the sunlight that streamed through the yellow stained glassed windows.   As I danced with the dust particles I sang. Those are some of the most precious moments of my childhood.   My singing was hidden to most, except for my well-intentioned father, the one who heard me in these moments.  He would ask me to be quiet as he prepared his sermon on the other side of the wall in his office.  A child can so easily be overlooked in the area of their greatest longing.  It has been a long journey back to find this girl inside of me, the girl who loved to sing.  She became buried under a lifetime of not really knowing how to listen to her own heart.  However,  I have found her again and the passion to sing has been reborn in me in a profound way.  When people hear me sing, they assume I've been singing all my life. I have to tell them - no, it has been a long journey to find my voice and to let it out again.

Rebecca Sichon is a 9 year old friend of mine - she's also a student of mine, studying singing and piano.  I love her dearly and I love seeing her passion for music.  I have seen how she feels music deeply and loves to express it through her voice.  She is emotional and expressive.  She has a heart to communicate ideas through music.  I want to encourage her to follow her heart, to listen to the passion she has and to fly with her dreams of singing.  I think you can see why this is important to me!
It was my delight to include Rebecca on the Love Shines recording.  you will hear her voice on a new version of 'Winter is Over'.  It couldn't be a more perfect song for Rebecca to join me on - here is an excerpt of the words:

the winter, long winter
is over
the winter, long winter
is over
sing, sing sing


winter is past, a new day dawns at last
hope for tomorrow
an end of sorrow
beauty for ashes
springtime has come


excerpt from 'Winter is Over' from the Love Shines CD


Rebecca has recorded a few other songs that were written together with her sister Natalie.  To hear some of these songs, go to:  Rebecca & Natalie

What would this project be without community?
I want to profile some people that have been unbelievable gifts to me in this process - and whom without I would not be where I am today.

I've been dreaming about this CD project for 2 and 1/2 years now.  When I realized I would have to raise the funds for this, I was pretty overwhelmed and didn't know what to do.  I decided to call on 3 friends to meet with me.  They were to tell me if I was completely crazy and I should end the dream right there - or if I should take some steps towards the project.  These friends were Evy Klassen, Heather Maddox and Bev Holmes.  These 3 women were fantastic.  They were blunt, honest and straightforward.  They said, 'you are not crazy' ....now here is what you need to do.
We made a plan of communicating the dream to my community and planning 3 concerts for the fall.  Bev hosted the Mission concert, Heather helped me by forcing me with vision statements and letters, Evy and I talked almost every day and she constantly encouraged me to not give up.
I formed a 'fellowship' of people that created a wider circle.  These people offered notes and words of encouragement, many of which I posted in my office to read on my 'bad' days.
I stepped out with the three concerts.  Kevin Boese was an incredible support for these 3 shows, supporting me on his guitar and great musicianship.  Boris Sichon helped me with song arrangements and brought an element of theatre and entertainment with his participation in the 2nd and 3rd shows...playing everything from the bones to the beautiful duduk.   Jon and Joleen VanDykle joined us as well for the 2nd and 3rd shows with great vocals, bass, and piano accompaniment.  Joanne Abraham and Theo Loewen joined us on the 3rd with extra percussion and sound help.  We had so much fun together and connected with so many great people from the community.
I realized through all the communication and concerts that this CD project was 'about' community - me connecting with a larger circle and not just doing something on my own.  This music is about 'us'.  This music is about our shared humanity - our struggles, our longings, our hopes.
Having to reach out and ask for help and support, even though it was incredibly hard and humbling, ended up being such a great gift.

Some other names...
my cool dog park friends that offer friendship and support - Craig, Laurie, Dave, Darrell, Robin, David, Lia, Leah, Anne and others that I can't remember names at this writing :-)
Nik - more about this amazing woman in another blog!
Kelley - who has listened to lots of 'rough drafts'
Lorie, Eden, Joyce K (who baked like mad for Abby concert), Elsie (hosted Chilliwack concert)
Kendra - who gave the first pre-order on-line and has encouraged me so much!!!
and many many others.....

Love you people!!!!!

             Photograph by Revival Arts www.rastudio.ca

      Love Shines Song Stories #7

This past summer I was on Pender Island when the phone call came that the whales were coming.  There is a phone chain thing that happens on Pender when whales are spotted coming around the island on the east side.  Then the word gets spread and everyone makes a dash to this special spot on the west side where the whales come very close to the shore.  We all felt like kids as we dropped what we were doing and dashed to the vehicle, drove like crazy, ran out to the shore and then waited with the rest of the community.  It was such a fun atmosphere with old and young filled with anticipation together.  After around 20 minutes, the cry came - 'there they are'.  We enjoyed a wonderful show especially when a baby whale kept leaping over and over again.  A sense of wonder came over all of us, touching the beauty of nature.  I often feel this way as I look at the night sky, spend time in the woods or feel the strength of a powerful storm.  The day with the whales was especially inspiring and the day I started working on this song, I Sing With the Earth.  

I sing with the earth

I sing with the sky

I sing with the whales as they sail by

I sing with the trees

I sing with the dawn

I sing with the stars all night long

Creator God who gives me life - you call my name

Creator God  who I can't see - you call my name

I sing with the earth

from mountains on high

in valleys below this glorious sky

I sing with the birds

I sing with the sea

I sing with the sun shining on me

excerpt from I Sing with the Earth - from Love Shines CD

As I was preparing for recording, I came across a Hebrew prayer phrase;

Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh Adonai, Tzva'ot. 

It intrigued me and I looked up what it was about and ended up having this great connection with a Rabbi in Vancouver who helped me understand the vastness of these words.  (Rabbi David Mivasair) These are the words of the prophet Isaiah as he is 'undone' in the presence of the Holy.  (Is. 6)  These words are his response..... and (in very simple terms-as Rabbi David and I talked for a very long time about these words!) convey that the whole world is filled with the glory of God.  This is what I also feel when I am outside and in nature and what the heart of this song is about.  

I have incorporated these Hebrew words into this song and had so much connected with an ancient language as I sang.

Love Shines CD Stories

Working with Philip Janz

There are people in your life that you realize are huge gifts.  People that push you to fulfill your potential - not 60%, not 80% but drive you to your 110%. Philip has been that for me with this recording - pushing me, driving me, expecting the best that I can be and can give to this creative project. This is exciting and also at times exhausting. However, I am so grateful. There are not many people that I can count in my life that do this for me

and so again I become a student, a learner, and realize I have been given an opportunity to grow and develop.

Philip has huge musical talent. He is an amazing pianist, drummer, vocalist as well as being one who records, produces, mixes and engineers a complete project from A-Z.  As the producer, he must have the big picture in mind at all times as well as a zealous determination for the smallest detail. Philip is able to hold both of these aspects at the same time and brings his passion to both the overall vision and the miniscule detail.

However,  I think the greatest gift Philip brings is his ability to listen to the heart of the musician and honour the story they are bringing into their work. It would be easy to impose his own ideas, creativity, and plans into another persons work as he is so incredibly gifted and creative. And he DOES offer his ideas and suggestions and critique in a very open way. However, Philip offers this with kindness and with great respect for the love of creating the best in what the musician has offered.

I am very grateful for this recording process! The past 8 days have been intense vocal days and I'm heading into the last session tonight. They have been some of the best days of my life.

Philip - thank you.

(Photographs by Revival Arts www.rastudio.ca)

my brother, Randy Friesen, made this video of me and Philip working together this past Saturday - ENJOY!!

Song Stories #6
Love Shines CD

Joy is coming

In this video you get a picture into the studio on Friday night when Boris and Philip were going at it working on a whole range of songs. I joined them for a bit of wine and sushi! In this video they are working on the tune, Joy is Coming.
Boris Sichon has been a huge part of this album. He has listened to all the songs and offered so much wonderful feedback and input. He is an amazing musician that has travelled the world and learned from many musical masters. His talent and expertise is a treasure that I deeply value. But more than that, Boris has believed in these songs and helped me to follow my heart with this dream of Love Shines.

This song is the most recent song that has been written for this album. It is simple and reminds me of the time I spent in Africa in my early 20s where i enjoyed beautiful rhythms. I wrote this in December at the beginning of Advent.... Advent reminds me of all the things we are waiting for, longing for and that we hope for. Underneath our waiting, I've become aware of a deep sense of joy. Joy is coming and joy we can taste even now if we pay attention. So, it was with a lot of joy and hope that this song got recorded - and a lot of fun!

Love Shines

Song Stories #5

Sing a Song

Many people in the Lower Mainland have been aware in the past few weeks of the sudden death of Myron Berg due to the traffic accident that happened just after Christmas. I knew Myron from working at House of James Bookstore over 20 years ago. We worked together for one year - he was the 'cool' guy in the music department. Then about 4 years ago, we reconnected when I started teaching 3 of his children music lessons; Lauren, Bryn and Taeryn. I got to know Gillian and the whole family for around 2 years and enjoyed quite a few musical events together.

I wasn't going to put this song, Sing a Song, on the album but then two things happened - one was celebrating the 18th birthday of Christian Friesen on January 14, my nephew who died last March and being aware of the Berg family as they mourn the passing of Myron. (funeral for Myron tomorrow, Jan 21) I realized again that so many of us experience death as a part of the life we are living now. We are all holding someone in our hearts that has passed one. I sang the song for Philip as a last minute possibility and he said YES - let's do it.

When another nephew, Trevor Dueck, died 3 years ago, I created a Service of Remembrance ...a musical evening to help us honour and remember loved ones who have died. On the 2nd year of this concert, when I was cleaning up after that evening, the reality of my own passing became more clear. That night I could not sleep and wrote these words, only to sing them before 1500 people a few months later when Chris died. I also sang them at a Haiti Memorial Fundraiser concert after the earthquake.

As I recorded the song today , my heart went out to the Berg family as they release Myron and love him. My heart sings for Chris, my beloved nephew....my brother Randy and his wife Ingrid and their son Max who are journeying through this grief.

These words are now part of the Love Shines CD project.....

here is an excerpt:

excerpt from

Sing A Song....

sometimes I think about that day

when I'll have wings and fly away

to a place I've never been

never known, never seen

It is a mystery, this life

one day I'm here and then I'm gone

and when that day, it comes for me

I ask that you would sing a song......

sing a song from your heart

through the veil from which I've part

sing a song that is true

and I'll sing ....back to you....

excerpt from Sing a Song from the upcoming Love Shines CD

Song Stories #4

Hope of My Dreams

(The Mountains Call)

I am captivated by the mountains.

I am captivated by sky.

I am captivated by eagles soaring

over my head as I walk in the open field behind Heritage Park in Mission.

I am captivated by ocean, rivers, lakes.

This song holds the sense of awe that I feel each day as I breath deeply of fresh air and take in the beauty that surrounds me.

I originally wrote this song on Bowen Island in August of 2006. It became part of the 'trust' CD recording that came out 2008. That CD was nominated for Inspirational Album of the Year by the Gospel Music Awards of Canada.

In May of 2010 I led a Taize Evening Prayer Event up at the glorious Westminster Abbey of Mission. The acoustics in that space are so delicate and wondrous. Kevin Boese played acoustic guitar and I sang this song as an opening for the evening. Today we recorded the song just like that - acoustic guitar and voice - simple, spacious, open and mystical.

Here is an excerpt of the words.....

The mountains call

out to me

and they declare

through their beauty

of One who is

beyond all things

Giver of Life

Hope of my dreams

thanks to Debbie Klassen of Chilliwack for the amazing photo!