beauty

tell them that life is beautiful

there is so much around us that is a mystery.  This week as I took time in quiet with my daughter....we just sat and 'breathed together' and enjoyed being together.  Then she said -  'air is strange.  You can't see it but you need it to live.  This whole room is filled with air, but we can't see it or touch it.'  a moment of beauty.

i had a dream last January.  I dreamt of many that I have known and not known - but people that had died and were no longer here on this earth.  And they filled my dream.  And in the dream they spoke to me a message.  They said, Cathy, tell them that life is beautiful.

I have held this message all year in my heart.  I have held this message as I have walked through some of the most painful moments of my life.  and as this year comes to a close, I finally feel ready to share this with others - this dream.....the message - that life is truly beautiful.

In the midst of all my dark moments, I have seen shafts of unbelievable shining light.  I have tasted wonder, I have drunk of deep friendship, I have touched mystery, I have heard laughter.
and this morning, once again, I am reminded that life is a gift.

We are breathing
We are here
right now.
We are given life
at this moment
Do we have eyes to see today
the gifts before us?
In spite of tragedy
and suffering...
can we notice the gifts of beauty?

There is so much we will never fully understand, but if we can rest in the tension of not-knowing and embrace the wonder of beauty that is all around us, we will taste joy.

In the weeks ahead as we are all surrounded by consumerism, demands, and the fast-paced surge of 'more things', my hope is that we will take moments to pause.

To pause - so that
we can see
we can hear
we can touch
we can taste
and we can know

that life is beautiful.

poem for Advent

I wrote this poem during Advent 2007
I found it again this week and decided to share it at a retreat I was leading.
I was surprised when I found out that someone remembered it from a blog I had shared a couple of years ago and was surprised again as it helped someone to express in poetry their own state of heart.

So, I decided it was worth sharing again in 2011 on this first day of Advent:

it has been hard to say
         'i did what i could' ....when that means
               that i have to admit
                    that i can't hold everything 
                          together
                                  all the time


to allow 
   things
 to fall and crash and break
to allow
   things
   to get lost and not found
to allow misperceptions to be - without freaking
to allow
my carefully laid plans to
    fall apart
to allow
the feeling of emptiness 
    to come close to me
       when i feel that things are slipping through my fingers


to allow my heart to say
     yes
       to You
in the midst of these moments
    and not lose heart
to be willing to be turned upside down
and shaken
loose 
of my firm grip 
on 
things
so i can rest
in my poverty
and humanity
    and celebrate the mystery
the paradox
   the miracle
of Emmanuel - 
    God with us


Cathy AJ Hardy 2007

a story from the song journey

Thirteen years ago I was part of a community choir in Atlanta, Georgia.  It was the beginning of my journey back to reclaiming my voice.  After a profound experience on the corner of North Decatur Road and Clairmont, (another story I will tell soon)  where that longing to sing bubbled up from my hidden soul, I wondered how I could begin the process of singing.  As I pondered this dilemna, I remember sitting at a playground watching my daughter Brianna play with a group of 4 year olds and I became involved in a conversation with another woman there watching her grand-daughter.  This woman told me about a community choir that she was involved in.  I wondered if this was the place to start and I asked her for the information of who/when/where.

I found out that to be part of this choir you had to audition.  It seems that this is always part of the process in saying ‘yes’.  You become aware that you have a longing, a desire, a dream.  And you start to believe that maybe you can go in the direction of that dream, and then you are given your first task.  Oh – I thought this might come more easily.  You mean, I might have to work toward this dream?  You mean, I might have to take risks? 

The dream can end right there.  There is a choice I had to make in that moment, do I make myself vulnerable and audition and sound like crap?  Or do I just tuck that stupid idea of a dream back into the abyss and push it down so like a bobbing apple it will keep popping up the rest of my life only to remind me of what I didn’t try?

So, I auditioned.

To me, I sounded horrible.  My voice was frail and weak.  It sounded like thin paper.  Lots of cracks.  Lots of whispery sounds where there was no ‘tone’.  But I did it anyways.

And by some bizarre chance, I got in.

Tuesday nights became my night to go to choir.  Many Tuesday nights I was tired and didn’t want to go.  But, it was the ‘next step’….the given task in front of me at that present moment. So I went.  I learned to sing Faure’s Requiem, Mozart, Bach, Mendelsohn and many other classical choral works.  I learned the beauty of music and that I could be a part of it.  I also learned to run to the bathroom as fast as I could.  Somehow the music evoked a lot of pain in me.  It was so beautiful, the music that is.  The music touched my pain and I would become short of breath and would struggle to stand straight.  So, in those moments I would run.  Run to a bathroom stall and sob.  Then I’d wash my face and go back.  No one said anything.  There was just a quiet understanding and feeling of love in the room.  I will always be grateful to those people for the gift of quiet presence they gave me in those raw moments.

So, needless to say, I didn’t feel very ‘together’ during those times.  I was incredibly vulnerable and a bit of a mess.  I felt insecure with my voice, insecure with new friendships, insecure with learning musical scores that were beyond me, and insecure with my pain.

And then this happened.

We were a ‘white’ choir.  Mostly.  There was one black guy.  A gay, black guy!  You’ve got to understand. In Atlanta the percentage of the population is more than 50% the black community.  However many parts of the city are very segregated and I found myself in a largely Caucasian crowd.  But in our choir there was this one black, gay guy.  A very good looking, funny, energetic and engaging human being.

Normally the men and women sat in separate sections – bass/tenor/alto and soprano.  But one night, our conductor mixed us all up and I ended up sitting by this beautiful man.  I do not remember his name, but I remember his presence.

We had never spoken to each other before that and we didn’t really speak to each other again after that night, so it still remains somewhat of a mystery why he then did what he did.

As we were all taking our seats and when he found out he was sitting next to me, he stood up and faced the whole group, about 60 people.  And he loudly proclaimed, ‘I am sitting by the most beautiful woman here.’  Needless to say, I was very stunned, embarrassed and shocked.  What?  Hello?  Excuse me?  The woman who is a complete mess?

And then half-way through the rehearsal, he not only did it again, he did it two more times.  Three times in all he stood up and proclaimed that he was so happy to sit by the most beautiful woman that night.

As I drove home that evening and the van came to a stop at a red light, I began to shake.  My body shook and shook and shook.  And I had one of the most transformational moments of my life to that point.  I heard a whisper…the beginning of many whispers that would transform my whole life.  The whisper said  …   that was me....  That’s how I feel about you.  I wanted you to know.  And I wanted to tell you 3 times.

You are precious

You are valuable

You are so valuable that I would proclaim you to strangers

I would stand up for you

I would defend you

I treasure you.

In that moment, and I know I could never explain this or defend this in any way, but I felt a physical transformation in my body – like the very chemicals that made me me – somehow shifted.  That as I received and embraced the basic truth of my intrinsic value as a human being, I was changed.  In that moment of for the first time believing in my value, I was changed.

That moment became the centre of my soul.  The truth that all other truths were built upon.  It has been the epicenter of the past 13 years.  It has been the core value from which I see now every other human being.  The wonder of a life.

The blessed irony of that moment was also from whom the message came.  Someone that perhaps represented those our culture has put as a minority, the ones on the outside of the circle.  And that was the one who spoke my greatest truth.  Somehow that has always made me laugh……and reminds me of the beautiful ways of Love.  Ways that I began to learn to recognize over the following years, and I felt like I began an adventure.  And adventure of listening.  An adventure of listening for the impossible, the wondrous, the magical, the mystery, the whisper of the One who makes my heart sing.

The gift of song-writing, a reflection

A few weeks ago, I shared some of these thoughts about song-writing in a concert and I was asked by someone to write them down....that these thoughts needed to be shared with other artists.  

So, here they are.....

The gift of song-writing, a reflection

Songwriting is often a solitary experience.  

It is something you do when no one else is around, in the quiet places of your heart.  

And one day the song is so powerful in you that you dare to share it with one other person.  

And you expose your soul.

To sing your song for one other person is to expose your heart and you don’t know what to expect.  

And so you share it, and then you want to run really fast in the opposite direction.

Will the other person run away too?  

Because it is so terrible?

Will they be indifferent?

Will they laugh?

Will they cry?

What will their response be? – that is what you are first concerned with – what is their response?

But as you grow as an artist and deepen, something happens inside you 

and you know that to NOT WRITE, 

something in you will die.

You get to a point, where to write and to compose – is to live.

It is part of choosing life, it is part of why you are here on this earth and you are compelled to write and if you don’t , a part of you will die.

And so, you choose life and it doesn’t really matter any more how people respond…

because you have lived.

And one day, you find yourself sharing these songs and you become surprised

Because people are actually resonating with your songs.  They are in the room and singing with you.  And one day they tell you that your song has become their song

And you realize that you did not just write your song, you wrote a human song

And we share  our human songs

These are our soul songs

Our human songs

And you’ve been a part of expressing our human story, which resonates with others

This is a gift to you, because it is a way you are to be alive

And it is a gift to them because you help them express their human story in soul language

This is the gift of song-writing.

Gratitude

Gratitude
what do I see?
what do I hold in my hands?
the emptiness,
the loss?
or the beauty,
the blessing?
every day is a choice
what do I see?
what do I hold in my hands?

this past weekend
the blessing
and the beauty
spilled over the edges
generosity
kindness
compassion
friendship
goodness
filled the days

what I don't deserve
came to me
gifts of time
gifts of service
gifts of energy
gifts of practical help
came
in so many beautiful faces
through so many beautiful hands
in the sounds of laughter

what i could not afford
came to me
what i did not invite
came to me

there are moments that are painfully empty
there are moments that are deeply lonely
there are moments when fear grips me

But what do I see?
What do I hold?

I see blessing
I hold gratitude

may the gifts I have been given
spill over into
blessings
for others

written with deep gratitude especially for Howie Thiessen, Kevin Boese, Arv Dueck, Ray Dueck, Steve Klassen, Jadon Peters, Dillon Peters, Brian Thiessen and many others

Courage

photography www.rastudio.ca

Courage......

As I read through an old journal

from 12 years ago

I found this prayer

'I ask for courage...

I ask for courage...'

I was in a time of deep distress

and facing my day to day life was not what I wanted to face

It takes courage to face the realities that lie before us

to really see things as they are

and not lose hope

Courage

has meant for me

to stay awake

to life

to keep my eyes open

and to stay present

and engaged.

Courage

has meant for me

to listen deeply 

to my soul

and to not be afraid 

to live from 

the truth of who I am

not to please others

but to respond

to the life

I have been 

given.

Courage

has meant for me

to listen to the dreams

of my heart

and to take risks

in pursuing 

the light 

of these dreams.

Courage

has meant for me

to trust

in friendships

to reveal the

fragility of my heart

to another

to risk being misunderstood

or unloved.

Courage

has felt so 

beyond me

so many times.

It has felt like a gift

that comes when I am broken

and weak.

I feel my humanity

I feel my vulnerability

and yet I want to say

yes 

to Life

So I pray

Give me courage

Give me courage

and in the words of this song.....

"Love strengthens me

and gives me

courage

for today"

and my heart soars

photo by rastudio.com

today I walked in the woods
and I soaked in the
 beauty of
gold
and red
I drank in the cool
fall air
deep into my lungs
I heard the rustle of leaves under my boots
I saw the wings of eagles
and in the words of
Chief Dan George,
my heart soared.
As I sit at my table
and look at the sticks of an orchid plant
that looked dead for a time
and now is budding again with new life
I gaze at the bright green shoots
and the pregnant 3 blossoms that will soon open
and my heart soars.
beauty
all around
if we will see
if we will hear
if we will be present and awake

The beauty of the trees,

the softness of the air,

the fragrance of the grass,

speaks to me.

The summit of the mountain,

the thunder of the sky,

the rhythm of the sea,

speaks to me.

The faintness of the stars,

the freshness of the morning,

the dew drop on the flower,

speaks to me.

The strength of fire,

the taste of salmon,

the trail of the sun,

and the life that never goes away,

they speak to me.

And my heart soars.

Chief Dan George

Every Time......

photography by revival arts

rastudio.ca

I found this old song in the stacks of my choral music

 in my studio sometime last year.

I immediately felt my toes start tapping and the rhythm captivated me.

However, the words were old were filled with  fairly negative descriptions of the

 devil coming to catch us all.

so........I thought, why not rework this baby.

and I did with a lot of fun.

Sharing this song in many different concert situations has been a gift.....

and what it brings is - joy.

simple joy.

tapping foot joy.

humming along joy.

I think we often forget simple pleasures these days.

We have forgotten the joy of singing with each other

and experiencing music in community.

this is also a song about freedom.

And every time I sing this, it reminds me....

sister, you are free.

No matter what my circumstances - there is an inner freedom

to still choose

Choose YES

Choose LIFE

Choose LOVE

Choose LIGHT

Freedom

Rise Up

photo by revival arts  rastudio.com

You know that book - Conversations with God?

Well, sometimes I have my own conversations.....

the other day, this is what I heard beyond my tears - 

Cathy, 

remember

I don’t do shame

Any shame you feel is not coming from me, my darling

I have given you life – do I want to diminish that?

You can walk into these new places with humility and grace

But not guilt

Or shame

That is not beautiful

Remember I am beauty

And beauty is full of grace, wisdom, gentleness and kindness. 

You can be kind and loving and gracious and beautiful even as you take this next step and rise up.

It is not about ‘pushing’up or striving in any way to rise.

It is about naturally doing what your body was meant to do

It is natural

It is pure

It is holy

And even as you rise – it does not push others down

It is not a rejection of others that you rise

It is not a negative towards others at all

It is simply shining

With the light I have put within you

Others can shine too

And you can shine on others

You can be kind to others and not lose anything

You can be generous and not lose anything

Because the fullness of light is within you

Just as the fullness of light is also within others 

if they open up

So, don’t be afraid of being loving, kind, gentle and beautiful

BE

ALIVE

And all my fullness will flow through you

Remember, we are dancing together

We are dreaming together

We are walking in light together

We are loving together

We are ALIVE

We are present right here, right now

When you are afraid of being loving, you are allowing yourself to go back to the past and let old feelings come to the surface.  What is important for you to learn is to stay present to me and then allow me to guide you in every ‘present’ moment.  Then we can create new ways of being and the most healing, the most nurturing, the most loving possibilities for your relationships.  And you open yourself up to the greatest Love opportunities.

Let us BREATHE together.  

Breathe with me girl

Rise UP.

thanksgiving 2011 - how can i keep from singing?

Thanksgiving 2011
this year has held incredible highs and far reaching lows.
It has been a year of living each day .....being fully awake 
for what that day held
both intense joy
and significant pain
but through it all
I have known again the gift of song
Singing connects me with my soul
through all of life's experiences
songs express - and help me to express
my soul, our soul
stories
so I want to give thanks
thanks for the songs
that have come like gifts
floating from heaven
rising from the earth
these songs that I now am able to share with many others
and these songs heal me
heal us
restore us
and remind us of a deeper truth
of the 'song from beyond'


I also want to give thanks for the 
beautiful community that surrounds me
in love
mirroring back to me
truth
love
friendship 
and 
hope
thank you
thank you
thank you


the words of this classic song express my heart this thanksgiving day:


My life goes on in endless song
above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
that hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear it's music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

Oh though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
Oh though the darkness 'round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

My life goes on in endless song
Above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
How can I keep from singing?

Lord, how can I keep from singing?
Oh, how can I keep from singing?


I will be performing two Love Shines concerts
with Boris Sichon, Kevin Boese & Jonathan VanDyke


Saturday Oct 15, St. John's Anglican Church  Chilliwack
7:30pm  $15 at door
Saturday Oct 22  House of James Abbotsford(with Rebecca Sichon)
7:30pm $15 at door


would love to see you there


Thursday Oct 27/Friday Oct 28 - at Gospel Music Awards of Canada in Calgary

clay & the tucking of the thumb

These past two weeks have been ones of going slow
of feeling the feet stuck at times
in fields of clay
mires of muck
the clay of sadness
when one's feet are in this clay
it is impossible to move quickly
to move quickly is to fall down face first
one must succumb to the
journey through the clay
and trust that the clay fields do
naturally end
and come to dry ground
where one can walk again
at a pace familiar
but in those moments of deep clay,
it is a plod
even though
you can feel
the sunshine
you are aware of the rainbow
still....your feet are in the muck
and so you feel the warmth
you know the promise
but there is no escape
you must walk through the clay
until it passes
no side journeys
no escape
but a steady, step-by-step
with trust

as I was teaching a student this week how to play a scale
I explained the concept of tucking the thumb
play thumb, index, middle finger - then tuck the thumb
and you can play the full 8 tone scale
to make the scale sound smooth
the thumb anticipates the tuck and begins to move into position
even before it is time to play that 2nd note

this movement of anticipation to me became a symbol that I could live into
Life is predictable with the thumb, index, and middle finger - but
now.....the thumb tuck
transition
I can adjust - and move into position in my heart
and be ready for the rest of the scale
the rest of my life
or I can freeze
in what I knew before
this transition
However, if I yield to the thumb tuck - the beautiful scale will emerge
it is uncomfortable
it is new
it is strange at first

but can I trust?  Can I yield?
As I plod through the clay
I open my heart to
the full scale
of my life.

through

photo by revival art studio

gotta go through it


there is a childhood song that has this refrain:
Can't go over it
Can't go under it
Can't go around it
Gotta go through it


going 
through.........
means allowing the moments of heartache to rise to the surface
and not run
to allow sadness to be
sadness
to cry 
to weep with being human
and knowing pain
to be weak and 
fragile
while remaining with hands open
no clenched fists
open to what is beyond the tears
hope
beyond explaining
hope that comes from under 
the tears
emerging from a deep, deep source
of Life
this hope emerged
again
yesterday in the form
of 
Gerber daisies
Going through is not easy
it requires
courage
and breathing in and out over and over again
going through-
we realize we are
not
walking
alone
We are surrounded
I am surrounded
with the
Presence of Love
We are called to
Life
and to say YES
And so with arms now fully open
I say YES
YES to a love that is deeper than any sadness
YES to a hope the is beyond any despair
YES to a promise
of fullness - of shalom - which not only means 'peace' but also means.....completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. 

Numbers 6:24-26

New International Version (NIV)

 ²⁴ “‘“The LORD bless you
   and keep you;
²⁵ the LORD make his face shine on you
   and be gracious to you;
²⁶ the LORD turn his face toward you
   and give you SHALOM.”’

the gift that someone gave to me.....

13 years ago was a time when I hit rock bottom.
I was really quite desperate for help and someone encouraged me to find a spiritual director.
I didn't even know what that meant at the time, but I started asking around and one day someone actually knew what that term was and handed me a business card of a woman named Joy.
Joy agreed to meet with me and my life was forever changed.
Joy had an incredible gift of listening.  There was nothing too shocking or overwhelming for her to absorb. She just was incredibly attentive and showed deep respect for my humanity and the story that I found myself in.
One of the most profound gifts Joy gave me was that she never once felt sorry for me.
Even though I was a mess and crying at almost every session, she never pitied me or coddled me.
Because she never allowed herself to feel sorry for me, there came an invitation for me to also not feel sorry for myself and to see the choices that were in front of me to make.
she allowed me to have dignity and self-respect and personal value.
She never rushed with answers or problem solving, but would linger in silence to listen for the story underneath the story.
She'd often respond with a question rather than an answer after a period of utter stillness.
I learned so much wisdom from Joy.  She became a mentor to me in my soul journey.
13 years later I still correspond with Joy and she is as dear to me as ever.
One of the practical gifts she gave me was to pay my way for a 3 day Silent Retreat.  I would never have chosen to do this on my own, but as it was fully paid for and I needed to get away, I went.
That silent retreat changed my life.  It became an anchor, an oasis, the beginning of an inner root system that has shaped this past decade of my life.
Now I lead retreats like this because of what Joy did for me.  There is one coming up in November for women.  If you are interested in coming or would like to sponsor someone else to go - a life could be changed, as mine was.
In our fast paced lives it is a great challenge to value stillness and silence.  But this is where our souls sing.  This is where we find ourselves again and out of the fullness of this silence, we can jump back into our lives with a deeper energy and sense of purpose than we ever had before.
Here is the link to the Mark Centre if you want more info:

November Retreat - Mark Centre

another dream of mine.....

well......I've had a long time dream....to have a grand piano.... I've been looking for a long time, but never really believing that I could have one to call my own.  In the middle of life turning upside down for me and finding myself on my own for the first time since I was 19, there came a strong desire to finally let that dream be realized.  It is a bigger story than I can fully write here, but the fact is that I found an old grand that fit me perfectly.  It is scratched and beautiful!  It has curvy legs and ivory keys.  It is responsive to how I play and is powerful in its sound.  It fits perfectly into the place I started imagining it to be - and it is truly there.  I've never had a piano just for my pleasure.  I've taught for over 20 years and somehow it is hard to be really creative on the piano that you work on all day long.  To have a piano that is for creativity, for community, for concerts, for composition, for singing.....this makes my heart so big with happiness.  Just walking by it and touching it - makes me glad.  it is so beautiful and speaks to me of memories yet to be created.  I have dreams for this piano - of people gathered around and singing with me, of writing songs at 3am and much more.  Two people have crawled underneath it just to lay under the strings and feel the amazing vibration of sound coming through the air.  having the piano brought into the house was quite an event.  So, here are the pictures of my good friend Darren Lambert and his two young men helpers who helped make another dream come true.

exploring new territory

the didge
The first time I saw someone play the didgeridoo I was mesmerized by the ability to keep the sound going through the process of circular breathing.  It seemed like a magical experience to breathe in and breathe out at the same time.
It was one of those skills that seemed 'impossible' for me to ever learn but amazing to admire in someone else.
I must admit when my friend Boris told me to begin to learn circular breathing and that I could actually acquire this skill - I just laughed.  I had the feeling of 'why try?'.  It is impossible and I could never do it - so why even begin?
One day I realized the limitation I had set on my own possibilities.  Why did I think that I can't learn this?  Why did I deem it impossible?  If other human beings could learn this skill - would it not be possible that I could as well?
Once I opened my mind to the possibility of trying and exploring, I became a learner.  I read about circular breathing, watched videos about circular breathing and started exploring how to do it myself.
There was a lot of spitting involved.  It wasn't pretty!
Boris lent me a 'practice didge'...a pipe from Rona!  My dog freaked out when she first heard the noise.  I took it in the car and went and practiced where no animal or human could see or hear me.
It was terrible and sounded like a sick pig!
But.....once I got the idea in my head that I could learn, I became determined to keep trying.
I gave myself til Christmas and most days tried to work on it.
The sound became a read didge sound.
But the circular breathing was challenging.
And then 2 days ago - it happened.  it worked.
It all came together and I did it - the sound, the breathing - it sounded good and was continuous.
I played the didge!
I may never play this thing in public - I may take a few months to be able to be consistent in the circular breathing department - but the wonder of learning something new and pushing myself beyond what I thought was possible is life-giving.
It makes me wonder - what else is possible for me to learn?
Where do I set limits on myself that are self-imposed and not true reflections of reality?
How can I think 'possibility' instead of 'not me'?
What am I capable of learning and becoming and being as I journey into the 40's of my life?
I think I know what I would like for Christmas - a real didge from Australia -
a step up from my beautiful black Rona pipe!

inspired

about 2 or 3 years ago I ran into a tall dark- haired man in the dog park of Mission named David.  He was walking his dog Charlie, and I was walking my dog, Indie.
The night before there had been a big storm and so there were branches all over the paths and loose in the trees above us.  I found out that David used to be an arborist and that he knew a lot about trees.  He made sure that I remembered to look up as we walked under big oaks and maples, to see if any loose branches were in a position to suddenly drop down on my head.  I appreciated his knowledge and his concern towards my safety!
over time I have met David on many occasions while we are walking our dogs and we have become good friends.  I found out that David is very sick with diabetes and his body is slowly shutting down.  He may live for a long while yet, or he may die in his sleep at any time.  He is having to face death every day.
From meeting David, as I did today again, you would not know this.  You would see a beautiful man who is walking with a slight limp but with a smile on his face.  David has become so aware of Love waiting for him that whether he is here or he is gone - he is completely happy.  David radiates a joy in being alive because he is knowing more deeply than many people I know how that day is a gift.  He is full of awe at the beauty of life around him. He loves studying science and learning more facts about what he can see and touch in this life, and what remains yet a mystery to him.
No matter what is happening for me, when I am with David, he inspires me.  He inspires me to be present, to live fully, to always be grateful, to aware of Love waiting for me - there is truly nothing to be afraid of.
David is not afraid.
This is what is always so powerful about our conversations.
David is not afraid.
David is secure in the knowing of Love holding him, carrying him, surrounding him and waiting for him.
In David - I see Love Shining
and it deeply inspires my heart
to keep trusting
to keep hoping
to not be afraid.

Sam

I have a 'Sam' in my life
and I want to tell you about this person....who is an inspiration to me
because I am grateful
and it is important to say thanks
and to celebrate what is beautiful and good in life
If you know the story of 'the Lord of the Rings', you will know about 'Sam'
Even though Frodo is the main character of the story, I feel that 'Sam' is the true hero of the story.
Sam embodies true friendship.  Sam is faithful, present through darkness and light.
Sam celebrates victories and suffers alongside in the moments of great darkness.
Sam believes in Frodo and does not allow Frodo to give up in the journey.
Sam believes in the value of Frodo's journey and speaks life to Frodo as in the following dialogue:

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

Sam:  I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo:  What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam:  That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

My 'Sam' has taught me a lot about being a true friend.  I hope that one day I can be all that she has been to me.