clay & the tucking of the thumb

These past two weeks have been ones of going slow
of feeling the feet stuck at times
in fields of clay
mires of muck
the clay of sadness
when one's feet are in this clay
it is impossible to move quickly
to move quickly is to fall down face first
one must succumb to the
journey through the clay
and trust that the clay fields do
naturally end
and come to dry ground
where one can walk again
at a pace familiar
but in those moments of deep clay,
it is a plod
even though
you can feel
the sunshine
you are aware of the rainbow
still....your feet are in the muck
and so you feel the warmth
you know the promise
but there is no escape
you must walk through the clay
until it passes
no side journeys
no escape
but a steady, step-by-step
with trust

as I was teaching a student this week how to play a scale
I explained the concept of tucking the thumb
play thumb, index, middle finger - then tuck the thumb
and you can play the full 8 tone scale
to make the scale sound smooth
the thumb anticipates the tuck and begins to move into position
even before it is time to play that 2nd note

this movement of anticipation to me became a symbol that I could live into
Life is predictable with the thumb, index, and middle finger - but
now.....the thumb tuck
transition
I can adjust - and move into position in my heart
and be ready for the rest of the scale
the rest of my life
or I can freeze
in what I knew before
this transition
However, if I yield to the thumb tuck - the beautiful scale will emerge
it is uncomfortable
it is new
it is strange at first

but can I trust?  Can I yield?
As I plod through the clay
I open my heart to
the full scale
of my life.