how do we see the world?

There is a website that I go to often called Sounds True...

I have listened to many inspirational authors, teachers and musicians here.

Today I listened to a recording of the late author and poet, John O'Donohue.

He was speaking on the way of looking at the world.

Here are some of his words that inspired me with how to live today......

John O’Donohue...

"An interesting way of doing some work on who you are is 

to take a look at the kind of ‘looking’ that you do? 

And ask yourself ‘what way do you behold the world?’

To the loving eye, everything is real.

And this is not love in a sentimental or naïve way. 

It is love as the gracious criterion of truth, celebration and reality.

Kathleen Raine –  the Celtic poet says...

'Unless you see a thing in the light of love, you don’t see a thing at all'

Love is the light in which we see everything in its true origin, nature and destiny.

If we could look at the world in a loving way, 

then the world would rise up before us in 

great possibility 

and invitation 

and depth."

How do I see you?

How do I see my work?

How do we see each other and live?

I hope these words inspire you today to open you up to looking with love at everyone and all that crosses your path today.

open spaces

Open Spaces

Recently I moved a painting
that filled a large space
to another room
where it delighted me more
but it left
an
open space.....
the open space
bothered me
what did I have to fill it?
it was blank
it was empty
it felt like nothing
and yet
I didn't want to fill it cheaply
it was a special space
a space I looked at often each day
it needed to have meaning
and be
significant
you can't just quickly fill
an
open space
a holy space
with junk
so I continued to look at that empty space
and wonder when I would know
what to place there
One day
unexpectedly
as I invited many people in
for an evening concert
one woman
handed me
an unexpected gift
a big gift
that I received into my hands
not knowing
what it was.
Late that night after the music
wine and eating was complete
and I was alone
I opened the gift
to my surprise
it was a beautiful hanging.
I knew immediately where it belonged
I hung it in the
open space
I stared at this beauty
this surprise
and I thought about other
open spaces in my heart
in my life
am I too quick to try to fill
what only a gift can fill?
do I allow time and discomfort to remain
with my
open spaces?
do I trust that
beauty will come
surprisingly and unexpectedly
in the open spaces of my heart?
can I enjoy the empty canvass
a clean slate
a new start
a fresh beginning?

Open spaces yield creativity
an opening of the heart
for new life
Open spaces open hearts
for change
a new way of looking at something

Open spaces allow room
for new growth, new life, new gifts
Open spaces can feel uncomfortable, empty, barren, and lonely......
but if we linger and wait.....
surprises may come knocking on our front door.

transformation

I breathe in the sky

I breathe out

I breathe in the light

I breathe out

I breathe in the trees

I breathe out

I breathe in the field

I breathe out

I breathe in the rocky cliff

I breathe out

I breathe in the river flow

I breathe out

I breathe in LIFE

I breathe out transformation

I breathe in eagles wings

I breathe out

I breathe in the rain

I breathe out

I breathe in the wind

I breathe out

I breathe in stardust

I breathe out

I breathe in the curve of the moon

I breathe out

I breathe in sunlight

I breathe out

I breathe in LIFE

I breathe out transformation

©Dec 2011 Cathy AJ Hardy

I'm Alive

this is a painting I did in 2003

(making large card-sized prints if you are interested in having a copy- thanks 

Craig Noa for helping me with this!)

begin again

Begin

Again

Fresh

New

Light

Open

Doors

Winged

Opportunities

Fly

High  

Soar

Free

Eyes

Clear

Heart

Clean

Hands

Lifted

Ears

Listening

Spirit

Aware

Awake

Alive

Alert

Attentive

Meeting

Possibilities

Welcoming

Surprises

Awaiting

Goodness

Beauty

Surrounds

Beauty

Unfolds

Breathing

Deeply

Breathing

Fully

Breathing

Consciously

I

AM

Here

I

Embrace

What

Love

Brings

Yes

To

Goodness

Fruitfulness

Well-being

Peace

Wisdom

Provision

Protection

Fulfillment

Love

Love

Between me

And you

Love

Between me

And all

I touch

See

Know

Love

The centre

Of my

Being

Love

January 1st, 2012

Words to live into...

I have let go of New Year's resolutions

and in the past decade

have found a new way 

of entering into the New Year

I listen for a word

one word or simple phrase

and that word or simple phrase

becomes an inspiration 

for my whole year

these words haven't all been easy

but they have stretched me

and called me

and taught me

One year was the word 

wait

One year was the word

courage

One year was the word

joy

Instead of feeing burdened by

a list of resolutions

I feel inspired and called on

a treasure hunt

of learning

The word for 2011 stayed at the top of my journal

every day

through good days and bad

and it called to me

I learned so much

and am still learning

I have a new word for 

2012

Maybe I'll write about it

in 2013

but for now,

I have a lot of learning to do

2012

here I come

I Bind My Life to Love......

one of my favourite prayers!

I  bind my life to Love

Merry Christmas everyone.

I bind my mind to Love

I bind my heart to Love

I bind my feet to the path that Love has for me        

I bind my life to Love

I bind my mind to Love

I bind my heart to Love

I open my hands to receive Love’s gifts

I bind my life to Love 

I bind my mind to Love

I bind my heart to Love

I open my life to let Love flow through

I bind my life to Love

Love speaks and says to me

Arise, and Come with me

Winter is over and gone

And the time for singing has come

Yes the time for singing has come

copyright 2009 Cathy AJ Hardy

ebb and flow and the deepening of roots

as I stand on the shore of change
I feel the ebb and flow
of the tides
the energy of
the ocean
moving towards me
life
beauty
laughter
washing over me
and then
I feel the sand sinking
beneath
my feet
the sucking of life
pulling away from me
as the water retreats
and I am left
barren
on the shore
in pools of grief
letting go of what was familiar to me
and present to my unknown future
and I am reminded
of a time past
when I saw myself as a tree
and the beautiful gardener came
to me
with tender eyes
but an axe
in his hand
and he chopped
all my branches off
til I was only a stump
I was a stump for a long time
what was important on the outside
needed to be pruned
away
and little did I know
that roots needed time
to grow
deep down into the earth
so that my tree
could come
back to life.
And I was very surprised
one day
when I realized
I was growing again
new life
coming back
new branches being formed
and the tree was more solid than it had ever been
and the roots have continued to grow
and there has been
an
ebb and flow to my tree
times of growth,
times of deepening
times of fruit bearing
and times of letting the leaves fall

And now I must trust
these deep roots
that they are even deeper
than the ebb and flow
of the ocean waters
of life
that come close to me now

My humanity
longs for certainty
for predictability
for normalcy

My prayer for this season
is that my heart can stay open
to trusting
to loving
to resting
to being
in the midst of the ebb and flow
of my heart

and that I may embrace the moments that are full and wash over me with abundance
and that I may let the tears flow when the tides of emptiness and longing pull the waters
back again into the wide ocean

knowing that my roots are tapped into
streams of living water
and I will live.

let it be

let it be
words of Mary
saying yes to the
unexpected realities
of her life
saying yes
to knowing
she might be 
an outcast
abandoned
rejected
even stoned
her yes
was not 
passive
or weak
it was a powerful
and
courageous
yes
what had been her dreams
for her life?
what had been her aspirations?


but in that unexpected hour
in the moment
of her life being changed
in direction


she said
let it be
let it be


letting go of what was
and allowing
a new reality 
let it be


living in the present moment
and shifting
perspective
let it be


letting go of of fear
and saying
yes to trust
let it be


allowing hope for a new
beginning
seeds of dreams
let it be

and as the Beatles sang it....
And when the night is cloudy 
there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, 
let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, 
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, 
let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

tidings of comfort and joy

comfort
and 
joy

Two powerful words that form the basis of the chorus of a well-known Christmas carol.
This season, I have created new words for this old carol.......

here they are:

(sing to 'God rest ye merry gentlemen')

From all four corners of the earth

From land and sea and sky

From deepest depths of ocean

From mountain peaks on high  

A song of hope

A song of love

A song of peace is born

O Tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy  

For those whose song has ended

For those whose hearts have died

For those whose dreams are broken

For those who weep and sigh

A promise of

Redemption comes

A story of new life

O Tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

Don’t let your hearts be troubled

And do not be afraid

Love overcomes all darkness

Love overcomes all shame

Let’s sing a song of freedom

Let’s sing a song of praise

O Tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joy

O Tidings of comfort and joy

A song of hope igniting

A song of love is born

A song of peace fills all the earth

this glorious Christmas morn

A song of hope

A song of love

A song of peace is born

O tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy

To the melody of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ .

Lyric changes by Cathy AJ Hardy 2011

the diminished chord and the journey of perfection

Today I was talking to my mom about her quilts.
And how they add to my home - filling two walls in particular with their art.
My mom said - but they are not perfect.
Ahh mom....
it is like the beautiful diminished chord I said.
A few years ago I had a wonderful music theory/history teacher.
When he spoke of the composers he spoke as if he knew them personally - he knew their music so well.  He shared with me his love of musical scores, love of musical patterns and many historical pieces of information I knew little about.
One day he shared with me about the diminished chord.
The diminished chord was one of my technical requirements with the Royal Conservatory of Canada, but I had never really understood its' roots.
If you take a major scale and build a chord on every single note of the scale, there is something called a perfect 5th that occurs on every single note - except one.  The 7th note of the scale.  Instead of a perfect 5th, you have what is called a flat 5th.
This was greatly disturbing in the past - because it didn't create a perfect pattern.  It became known as the devil's chord and was forbidden to be used in different time periods.
This devil's chord then became one of the hallmarks of the 'sound of jazz' - the flat 5th....and perhaps why jazz was called 'the devil's music'...
There is a certain amount of dissonance in this sound - one that creates a desires for resolution.
But I love the sound of this chord, this sound - and I use it in some of my compositions....
Whenever I am tempted to desire life to be 'perfect', I am reminded of  the diminished chord....
that instead of 'the devil's chord', it is really a chord of beauty -
the diminished chords of our lives
bring tension
bring dissonance
remind us that life is not about
being 'perfect'
but about
so much more.
If I am able to embrace
life and all it's imperfections -
maybe I will learn some grace in living
and perhaps maybe
I'll be able to receive the love of others in a deeper way
knowing that they are also
embracing me
and all of my imperfections
the diminished chord
in me.

The gift of song-writing, a reflection

A few weeks ago, I shared some of these thoughts about song-writing in a concert and I was asked by someone to write them down....that these thoughts needed to be shared with other artists.  

So, here they are.....

The gift of song-writing, a reflection

Songwriting is often a solitary experience.  

It is something you do when no one else is around, in the quiet places of your heart.  

And one day the song is so powerful in you that you dare to share it with one other person.  

And you expose your soul.

To sing your song for one other person is to expose your heart and you don’t know what to expect.  

And so you share it, and then you want to run really fast in the opposite direction.

Will the other person run away too?  

Because it is so terrible?

Will they be indifferent?

Will they laugh?

Will they cry?

What will their response be? – that is what you are first concerned with – what is their response?

But as you grow as an artist and deepen, something happens inside you 

and you know that to NOT WRITE, 

something in you will die.

You get to a point, where to write and to compose – is to live.

It is part of choosing life, it is part of why you are here on this earth and you are compelled to write and if you don’t , a part of you will die.

And so, you choose life and it doesn’t really matter any more how people respond…

because you have lived.

And one day, you find yourself sharing these songs and you become surprised

Because people are actually resonating with your songs.  They are in the room and singing with you.  And one day they tell you that your song has become their song

And you realize that you did not just write your song, you wrote a human song

And we share  our human songs

These are our soul songs

Our human songs

And you’ve been a part of expressing our human story, which resonates with others

This is a gift to you, because it is a way you are to be alive

And it is a gift to them because you help them express their human story in soul language

This is the gift of song-writing.

Gratitude

Gratitude
what do I see?
what do I hold in my hands?
the emptiness,
the loss?
or the beauty,
the blessing?
every day is a choice
what do I see?
what do I hold in my hands?

this past weekend
the blessing
and the beauty
spilled over the edges
generosity
kindness
compassion
friendship
goodness
filled the days

what I don't deserve
came to me
gifts of time
gifts of service
gifts of energy
gifts of practical help
came
in so many beautiful faces
through so many beautiful hands
in the sounds of laughter

what i could not afford
came to me
what i did not invite
came to me

there are moments that are painfully empty
there are moments that are deeply lonely
there are moments when fear grips me

But what do I see?
What do I hold?

I see blessing
I hold gratitude

may the gifts I have been given
spill over into
blessings
for others

written with deep gratitude especially for Howie Thiessen, Kevin Boese, Arv Dueck, Ray Dueck, Steve Klassen, Jadon Peters, Dillon Peters, Brian Thiessen and many others

Courage

photography www.rastudio.ca

Courage......

As I read through an old journal

from 12 years ago

I found this prayer

'I ask for courage...

I ask for courage...'

I was in a time of deep distress

and facing my day to day life was not what I wanted to face

It takes courage to face the realities that lie before us

to really see things as they are

and not lose hope

Courage

has meant for me

to stay awake

to life

to keep my eyes open

and to stay present

and engaged.

Courage

has meant for me

to listen deeply 

to my soul

and to not be afraid 

to live from 

the truth of who I am

not to please others

but to respond

to the life

I have been 

given.

Courage

has meant for me

to listen to the dreams

of my heart

and to take risks

in pursuing 

the light 

of these dreams.

Courage

has meant for me

to trust

in friendships

to reveal the

fragility of my heart

to another

to risk being misunderstood

or unloved.

Courage

has felt so 

beyond me

so many times.

It has felt like a gift

that comes when I am broken

and weak.

I feel my humanity

I feel my vulnerability

and yet I want to say

yes 

to Life

So I pray

Give me courage

Give me courage

and in the words of this song.....

"Love strengthens me

and gives me

courage

for today"

and my heart soars

photo by rastudio.com

today I walked in the woods
and I soaked in the
 beauty of
gold
and red
I drank in the cool
fall air
deep into my lungs
I heard the rustle of leaves under my boots
I saw the wings of eagles
and in the words of
Chief Dan George,
my heart soared.
As I sit at my table
and look at the sticks of an orchid plant
that looked dead for a time
and now is budding again with new life
I gaze at the bright green shoots
and the pregnant 3 blossoms that will soon open
and my heart soars.
beauty
all around
if we will see
if we will hear
if we will be present and awake

The beauty of the trees,

the softness of the air,

the fragrance of the grass,

speaks to me.

The summit of the mountain,

the thunder of the sky,

the rhythm of the sea,

speaks to me.

The faintness of the stars,

the freshness of the morning,

the dew drop on the flower,

speaks to me.

The strength of fire,

the taste of salmon,

the trail of the sun,

and the life that never goes away,

they speak to me.

And my heart soars.

Chief Dan George

Every Time......

photography by revival arts

rastudio.ca

I found this old song in the stacks of my choral music

 in my studio sometime last year.

I immediately felt my toes start tapping and the rhythm captivated me.

However, the words were old were filled with  fairly negative descriptions of the

 devil coming to catch us all.

so........I thought, why not rework this baby.

and I did with a lot of fun.

Sharing this song in many different concert situations has been a gift.....

and what it brings is - joy.

simple joy.

tapping foot joy.

humming along joy.

I think we often forget simple pleasures these days.

We have forgotten the joy of singing with each other

and experiencing music in community.

this is also a song about freedom.

And every time I sing this, it reminds me....

sister, you are free.

No matter what my circumstances - there is an inner freedom

to still choose

Choose YES

Choose LIFE

Choose LOVE

Choose LIGHT

Freedom

sing through sorrow, sing through tears, sing throughout all your years

If you were able to only give one sentence to describe yourself, could you do it?
If you were able to only give one sentence to describe a relationship you have and all of it's many nuances, history, joys and sorrows, could you do it?
I could not.
I cannot.

What I'm trying to say and I don't know where to begin, is that the marriage I have known since I was 19 has come to an end and has been ending for a long time....I just had hoped there was a way through.....but I have had to come to rest that there is not a way through for us and it is time to let go.
This year has been a paradoxical year for me - with utter joy and deep sorrow dancing together day by day.  It has been a year of being more alive than I've ever known, and at the same time.....so deeply sad.
But even in my deepest sadness, I've been aware of LIFE still calling me to live, to rise up, to be present.
It is a time of transition that I never thought would be part of my life - but here it is.
There was a day that I wondered if I would be able to sing in front of others ever again.
And then someone reminded me of my own song lyrics-
and they said to me.....  Cathy......
'sing through sorrow, sing through tears, sing throughout all your years.'
As I have kept singing through all of this, I have found the power of song once again.
The songs keep me in touch with my soul and they remind me that underneath all sorrow and loss is a deep river of joy that is stronger than any life story.
And so I will carry on.
I will sing
for I still believe

that Love is shining.
on the road of my life.......

promo vid

Here a video from the Love Shines Release concert.....enjoy!

featuring Boris Sichon, Kevin Boese, Philip Janz, Peter Davyduck, Brian Thiessen, Jonathan VanDyke & Rebecca Sichon

folk festival in mission

when i moved to mission

10 years ago, 

one of the first events I experienced was the 

Folk Festival of Mission

It really is a 'world music festival'

as there are musicians from all corners of the earth

with their beautiful ethnic sounds

it was a magical experience with people of all ages 

dancing under open skies

celebrating life

every year since I've enjoyed this event 

first as an attendee

then as a volunteer

this year for the first time as a performer

I'll be playing at 1:30 on Saturday afternoon if you are able to come!

I'll be singing songs from the Love Shines album 

and some other tunes as well

Boris Sichon will be performing with me as well as Rebecca Sichon.

come and check out a beautiful community event!

labyrinth

this picture was taken by Christina from one of our retreats on Pender.......


I love the labyrinth.
I walked for the first time in Atlanta, Georgia.  I thought it was rather strange and simple - and wondered what the big deal was when I heard people talk about it.
And then I walked.
The labyrinth is like a metaphor for life.  It is a journey into the centre and then back out again.  When you begin the walk, you assume you will go directly to the centre....and somehow you end up circling close to the centre - but you can't get in.  You have to keep following the path as it loops to the outer edges before coming back into the very centre at the end.
and then you follow this same journey back out again.
It never fails to speak to me and teach me something new.
I learned how to draw a 7 circuit labyrinth in the sand on the beaches of Florida while I visited my friend Christina Kautz.  I now can use chalk and create a labyrinth anywhere I find a smooth area of pavement.
We used this labyrinth for the retreats at Pender and it was a powerful experience for many.
The highlight for me was walking it at night by candlelight with a group of women together....all of us on our journeys - alone and yet together.
A new Christina in my life took this picture of me at the centre of the labyrinth....a place I love to create for others and a place I love to come to myself.

eagles

eagles.....

eagles have become a gift in my life - an unexpected connection with nature.

It was last summer that I took the zip-line at Whistler called the 'eagle'.  I had to step off a 20 story mountain edge into sheer nothingness.....talk about fear.  It was up to my throat.  I faced my fear and stepped anyways.  That moment became a symbol for me every time I was afraid as I went into the Love Shines recording project. There were so many fears to overcome - but I kept remembering my 'eagle' moment and would keep jumping into new territory even though I was still afraid.  Fear doesn't seem to leave - you just learn to not let it make the decisions for you - you jump and the fear flies with you .....you look at each other and laugh.   Maybe fear is just a jester - seeing what kind of people we really are.  will we settle or will we take courage and leap?
Well, on Friday, my old friend fear came back and visited me on Pender Island.  I received a notice about something that sent my heart spinning with anxiety.  Panic was close on the heels of fear - I guess they are good friends!  At that moment, my Ethiopian friend called me to the deck where you see me standing here.  There were two eagles flying in clockwise formation.  Somehow watching these two eagles was comforting to me in a way that I could not explain.  We watched together from this beautiful deck at Pender and allowed the beauty of nature to fill us.
About an hour later the rest of the women coming on retreat showed up.  One was a beautiful woman from a First Nations background.  I told her we had just seen eagles.  Immediately without knowing what had happened, she told me ' do you know, when eagles fly in clockwise formation, they are letting you know that everything will be OK.'
It was one of those 'ahh' moments.......where nature, people, and God all seem to collide together to bring a message of hope.

wow - and thank you is what my heart says in return.