promo vid

Here a video from the Love Shines Release concert.....enjoy!

featuring Boris Sichon, Kevin Boese, Philip Janz, Peter Davyduck, Brian Thiessen, Jonathan VanDyke & Rebecca Sichon

folk festival in mission

when i moved to mission

10 years ago, 

one of the first events I experienced was the 

Folk Festival of Mission

It really is a 'world music festival'

as there are musicians from all corners of the earth

with their beautiful ethnic sounds

it was a magical experience with people of all ages 

dancing under open skies

celebrating life

every year since I've enjoyed this event 

first as an attendee

then as a volunteer

this year for the first time as a performer

I'll be playing at 1:30 on Saturday afternoon if you are able to come!

I'll be singing songs from the Love Shines album 

and some other tunes as well

Boris Sichon will be performing with me as well as Rebecca Sichon.

come and check out a beautiful community event!

rest

rest

I love working hard

I love having goals and plans

I love seeing results

I love living to the full

but I've realized that to live fully I need to rest fully too

I need time to listen deeply to my heart so I know the direction my energy needs to flow

resting helps me know my own self

I long to please others and make others happy - and so it is hard to hear my own voice

what is right for my life?  what is my own desire?

through resting and being still - I again find that inner voice

It has been a hard thing to learn that in following this inner voice, I bring my best gift to the community

I was taught about self-sacrifice - and that is my best gift ...

I think that many of us who grew up in the church have been confused about the words of Jesus...

that if we 'lose' our lives we will find them

and the 'last' shall be first

these words have been used in ways that have brought tremendous guilt about knowing our true selves.

I personally believe that it is only in knowing our true selves  - that we can then offer

our true selves

authentically in service

and this is freedom

and I truly believe this is what Jesus was getting at.

So we start with celebrating being a created being

made in Love

do you ever wonder why you are here?

and just the simple fact that you are here?

you are here!

you are breathing

wow.

isn't that a wonder in itself?

to then discover what a wonder you are - is perhaps your holy work

to be all

that you have been created to be for the world we live in

is your holy task

and your joy

and what will bring you life

it is then that you can 'lose' your life as you offer your true essence

and then you will truly find it

I believe it is through rest and times of stillness that we find again

our souls

our deepest selves

and that is our gift to bring

to each other and to LIFE.

labyrinth

this picture was taken by Christina from one of our retreats on Pender.......


I love the labyrinth.
I walked for the first time in Atlanta, Georgia.  I thought it was rather strange and simple - and wondered what the big deal was when I heard people talk about it.
And then I walked.
The labyrinth is like a metaphor for life.  It is a journey into the centre and then back out again.  When you begin the walk, you assume you will go directly to the centre....and somehow you end up circling close to the centre - but you can't get in.  You have to keep following the path as it loops to the outer edges before coming back into the very centre at the end.
and then you follow this same journey back out again.
It never fails to speak to me and teach me something new.
I learned how to draw a 7 circuit labyrinth in the sand on the beaches of Florida while I visited my friend Christina Kautz.  I now can use chalk and create a labyrinth anywhere I find a smooth area of pavement.
We used this labyrinth for the retreats at Pender and it was a powerful experience for many.
The highlight for me was walking it at night by candlelight with a group of women together....all of us on our journeys - alone and yet together.
A new Christina in my life took this picture of me at the centre of the labyrinth....a place I love to create for others and a place I love to come to myself.

roots.....

roots......
roots.........

pender island......summer silent retreat

today on our retreat I am inviting people to consider the state of their roots.
If you were a tree - what kind of a tree would you see yourself to be?
what is the state of your roots?
In our lives, we focus so much on our exterior selves - our accomplishments, our appearances, our outer success.....what is visible to the community.
Most of us rarely focus and spent quality time nurturing our interior lives....our roots.
silence is a way to bring us
in and down
down to the places
where
pain sits
and
dreams lie dormant
We are afraid of our pain
We are afraid of our dreams
In silence
there is an opportunity to face
our pain
and realize there is something deeper
underneath the pain
there is life
and love
and hope
and healing......
we can also begin to listen to our dreams
the dreams placed in us at the beginning of our creation
dreams that we are meant to live out
and not be ashamed of
but our pain needs to be healed
and our dreams need to be nurtured

even though you are not on retreat with us - you can join us in this way!
Take time for yourself today.......
If you can take a bit of time for silence and be aware of the state of your heart
Take time to listen to your dormant dreams
and dare to let your imagination fly

eagles

eagles.....

eagles have become a gift in my life - an unexpected connection with nature.

It was last summer that I took the zip-line at Whistler called the 'eagle'.  I had to step off a 20 story mountain edge into sheer nothingness.....talk about fear.  It was up to my throat.  I faced my fear and stepped anyways.  That moment became a symbol for me every time I was afraid as I went into the Love Shines recording project. There were so many fears to overcome - but I kept remembering my 'eagle' moment and would keep jumping into new territory even though I was still afraid.  Fear doesn't seem to leave - you just learn to not let it make the decisions for you - you jump and the fear flies with you .....you look at each other and laugh.   Maybe fear is just a jester - seeing what kind of people we really are.  will we settle or will we take courage and leap?
Well, on Friday, my old friend fear came back and visited me on Pender Island.  I received a notice about something that sent my heart spinning with anxiety.  Panic was close on the heels of fear - I guess they are good friends!  At that moment, my Ethiopian friend called me to the deck where you see me standing here.  There were two eagles flying in clockwise formation.  Somehow watching these two eagles was comforting to me in a way that I could not explain.  We watched together from this beautiful deck at Pender and allowed the beauty of nature to fill us.
About an hour later the rest of the women coming on retreat showed up.  One was a beautiful woman from a First Nations background.  I told her we had just seen eagles.  Immediately without knowing what had happened, she told me ' do you know, when eagles fly in clockwise formation, they are letting you know that everything will be OK.'
It was one of those 'ahh' moments.......where nature, people, and God all seem to collide together to bring a message of hope.

wow - and thank you is what my heart says in return.

freedom of solitude

Pender Island
July 2011

I am here - on beautiful Pender Island
I am involved in leading two retreats through the Mark Centre - the first retreat being 3 days of mixed silence & community and the second being 5 days of silence.
It is an interesting part of my life - bringing people into a journey of silence, slowing down and contemplation.
I would not be so passionate about it - except knowing that this kind of thing helped saved my life when I was at rock bottom.
It was only through entering the deep silence that I rediscovered my own voice, my soul and my intrinsic value as a human being.  It was through the gift of silence that I discovered I was loved - even with doing anything - just 'being'.
Many of us yearn for deeper relationships, authentic friendships and meaningful community.  Perhaps for this to happen in our lives, we need to take time apart and really know ourselves, so that as we offer ourselves to each other - we can offer the depths that we ourselves long for in relationships.
Today I found a quote by Julia Cameron - author of 'The Artist's Way'.....
'Until we experience the freedom of solitude,
we cannot connect authentically.'

Many of us are afraid of solitude ...we feel solitude equals loneliness.  Perhaps freedom in solitude means that we have found interior freedom - we do not need the approval of others to bring us a good day - we are at rest with our souls.  If we are not at rest with our souls - no one can fix that for us.....except us.  There is no one left to blame in solitude.  We are with ourselves and must face what that means.

It is always amazing for me to observe the courage that people have to come on these retreats and to face the solitude even if they are afraid of it.  It is also amazing to see the beauty emerge as people move past fears and find themselves again.  The rich sense of community among 'strangers' is profound as we all travel to deep places and then bring that gift to each other.

I am missing my loved ones at home.....but will continue drinking in the beauty of these days before me at Pender.

plan b....or c or d for that matter

some days it feels like I'm on the edge of the ocean
and being swept up by a gigantic wave
the sense of losing control
of my equilibrium
and being uprooted
the sense of being disoriented
and unsure of what is going to happen next
takes over
it can be an illusion that I might be the only one experiencing such a thing
but as I am with so many people
and we talk about our lives
it seems many of us are here
at
plan b
life not exactly how we imagined it
a few unknowns
thrown in
a few unexpected measures of music
in the song of life
a change of time signature
and key change that no one warned me was coming
so what can I do?
what can we do?
in music or theatre - the real artists know that the unpredictable
is always around the corner
you never know what will happen on stage  - because you are
in the moment
the moment of 'now'
is always ALIVE
and anything can happen
It is always nerve-racking- but if one is open to possibilities - it is very liberating and exciting
On the stage - there are no second chances - it just is what it is in that moment...
you can't go back and fix - it already happened...and you carry on
in the stage of life - perhaps that is sometimes the hardest thing - to let go of what happened
and to embrace what is
right now
and to choose
the response
for the next action
or the next word
to remain present
with eyes wide open - and not full of fear
to keep living and embracing
the only reality that is
letting go of a perfect plan a
and saying YES to life as
it is
plan b....or c or d for that matter
with laughter and with grace

123 123 12 12 12

Tonight was drumming circle.......

my sister came for the first time and saw with her own eyes

heard with her own ears

and drummed with her own hands!

Why am I so passionate about this drumming circle?

How can a group of strangers come together and in a few months

become such good friends?

There is something about sitting in a circle together

and flowing in a rhythm

where we all have to listen

we all participate

we all contribute

listening and participating

together and alone

touching many of the senses-

we have to become childlike because it isn't always easy

we stumble and we get off the beat

we don't keep doing our western beats of:

1234

1234

Instead, we combine rhythms of 2 and 3 and 4

and then multiply and divide

add and subtract

Boris, what are you talking about??????  in your Russian accent?

So, we laugh and we try

and we drum.

I brought these drums to a women's group 2 weeks ago and the women found our drum circle healing and beautiful.  There were tears.  One woman shared how in pre-school there is ALWAYS circle.  

That is how learning happens - in circle time.

It made me wonder what we've lost in our culture and what we taste a bit of on our drumming nights.  There is something about community, about all being a part 

all being significant to the whole

One of the dreams I have for this coming year is to create places of 'circle' - places of community

We all need to know

that we are a part of the greater whole

connected

Thanks to so many for the incredible birthday wishes today.....from late last night and all through today, I've been blessed by messages from many friends.
yesterday I went to a funeral of a young man from Mission.  He was 20 years old and many, many people came to honour his life and support his family.  Maybe he never knew how many people cared about him or how connected he really was.  Many of us don't realize how many people care about us - and we struggle to let people know how much we care about them.  It was a good reminder - how connected we all are and how it is important to let others know how valuable they are in our circles of friendship.
It's hard to reach out sometimes and show our gratefulness - it's hard to also reach out and express our needs....but it is important, because we all need to know how valuable and needed we are in our communities and circles of friendship in the good times and the hard times.
Today someone brought me flowers.  Someone brought me a ring.  Someone made me a meal.  Amazing gifts of love and friendship that allowed me to see how I am a part of other's lives as much as they are part of mine.  So much to be grateful for.  Today was a beautiful day.

All is beauty

During the past 3 days I've been invited into very intimate moments of people's lives - people that are in many ways strangers to me, but I guess I don't feel like a stranger to them.  these people have been touched by music I have shared through concerts and other events and they have invited me into some of the most precious moments of their lives - it has been a privilege and an honour to be invited into these spaces.

the first space was an outdoor wedding that happened on Sunday.  It was a 2nd marriage for each partner, both having lost spouses due to sickness.  The mood was joyful and celebratory as they took their places with the sun shining down all them and all their guests.  In a beautiful way, their former spouses were honoured and these two prepared to take new vows.  Just before they did, I sang the song, Winter is Over as they had requested.  Looking into their faces and knowing that they carried both the sorrow and the joy of their lives at the same time made it a very meaningful experience.

the second space I came into was this evening at Hospice.  A new acquaintance came to a recent concert and told me about her friend who was dying.  Would I come?  So, tonight along with Boris Sichon, I went and sang for this beautiful woman who is passing from this life to the next.  As I drove around today thinking of her, a new song came to me and I sang it to her tonight:

All is beauty

you stand on the edge 

of the unknown

preparing your heart

for travelling home

what is in shadow

for you will be clear

your new tomorrow

so far, yet so near

may love surround you

as you depart

may love surround you

& carry your heart

to the great beauty

that we call home

you're going to beauty

and soon you will know

All is well

All is well

All is beauty

All is well

all is well

all is well

All is beauty

all is well

© 2011  Cathy AJ Hardy

I myself am going through some huge life changes which I will write about at another time.  To be able to sing for others in the midst of my own journey - and to be allowed to share in the joy and the suffering of others lives on such a deep level is a tremendous gift.  I am deeply grateful tonight for this privilege.

retreat anyone?

Retreat anyone?  Do you need time to nurture your heart and soul?
Retreats have been life-changing for me.  Through getting away from my daily routines, my work, my family obligations and roles and taking time to be still - I have found my anchors for living.  Being still for a period of time has helped me to listen and has created greater awareness of who I am and what my life purpose is.  To find rest in just 'being' is a profound and life-changing experience and has rooted all 'activities' in greater freedom and joy.

There are 2 retreats coming up on Pender Island in July that I'd like to let you know about - registration cut off is coming up soon so it is time to put your name in if you are interested.....

The first one is:
Creator's Heart

Time and space to create and listen.

July 8^th 7pm - July 11^th 11am                                       

Join with other artists (you can be any kind of artist.....writer, painter, poet, musician...I believe we are ALL artists in some way!!)   on the majestic sea at the Pender Island Lodge for inspiration and time to work on your craft. You will experience a mix of silence, space to create, and time to share your spiritual journey and your art. I will be facilitating this retreat and sharing my from my own journey through story and music. 

We invite you to enjoy this weekend at the MARK Centre in a peaceful and inspiring setting:

• Slowing down to breathe and receive
• Being inspired by the Creator to create
• Tasting times of silence
• Experiencing Group Spiritual Direction as a tool for opening up the inner journey of the heart

Additional Opportunities:

• Beautiful ocean and forest walks
• Hiking trails
• Time to watch for sea life
• Exploring the coastline by canoe or kayak

The second is:

Summer Silence for Women

A week to feast on silence and rest.
July 11^th 4pm – July 15^th 11am                                   
Come and linger over some quiet days by the sea. Watch the whales and seals play, listen to the crashing waves, savour the tastes of home cooked meals, and feel your heart come alive as you give yourself time and space to be. During your five days by the sea, you will be guided into silence interspersed with thoughtfully led group sessions and individual spiritual direction sessions.  Lorie Martin and Evy Klassen and myself will be your hosts for this silent retreat at the Pender Island Lodge.

We invite you to enjoy this week by the sea in a peaceful and inspiring setting:

• Slowing down to listen, reflect and receive
• Giving attention to God’s active presence
• Being renewed and energized through the practice of silence
• Experiencing Spiritual Direction as a tool for opening up the inner journey of the heart

Additional Opportunities:

• Beautiful ocean and forest walks
• Hiking trails
• Time to watch for sea life
• Exploring the coastline by canoe or kayak

For more information or to register, please go to

http://www.markcentre.org

Taize Evening Prayers at Westminster Abby in Mission

Taize Evening Prayers at Westminster Abby 

Saturday, May 28th, 2011  8pm

This coming Saturday is a very special evening of the year for me.

It is the evening of Taize Evening Prayers at the Westminster Abby in Mission BC

The songs/prayers from Taize have made a huge impact on 

my life and I've been passionate about sharing these songs with others

for the past 13 years or so.

I think in a time where many people are sick of religion,

sick of dogma, and empty tradition,

the songs of Taize offer a special gift.

What I have found with these very simple songs

is a way to pray.

I talk to many, many people about spiritual things. 

Many people have given up on a church experience, but still hold a heart that is open to prayer.

But how to pray?

How do we navigate this unknown?

Brother Roger, who founded the Taize community, believed that simplicity of heart and simple trust where key elements in having a heart of prayer.

He also believed that a lifestyle of listening

was much more significant

than a list of beliefs.

He taught me that there is joy in the journey of trust

rather than the anxiety that comes from a life of fear.

This evening at the Abby is a simple hour of silence, songs, prayers and rest.

It is a time where we can gather together and just simply be and open ourselves to the mystery of what is beyond us all.

Free and Open to public

more thoughts on joy.....

photo by rastudio.ca

this past Wednesday night I met Brother Emile from Taize, France.  Brother Emile has been a monk with the Taize community for more than 20 years, I believe.  He came to Canada this week to visit various cities and share about the theme of joy.  I found this very interesting as I have been contemplating this subject myself so much lately.
Brother Emile asked us two questions:
1.  Have you experienced something that is a companion to joy?  Does joy come alone or is there something else that comes with it?  (i'm not sure if I got this entirely worded the way he had it - but I believe this was the essence of his question.
2.  Is it possible to opt for joy?

We gathered in small groups to discuss our thoughts around joy.
When I thought of what accompanied joy in my own experience, it was the feeling of 'child-likeness'.  When I am truly joy-filled, there is a carefree element, a deep laughter, an abandonment of expression that I can only describe as being child-like.  This is very beautiful to me and it speaks of not being forced or manipulated.  Joy in this sense relates to inner freedom to be.
To opt for joy?  This is an interesting question and one to ponder...is joy a choice?
We all tire of people that are positive to an extreme that they are not facing reality.  This is not attractive and I don't believe holds the true meaning of joy.

Perhaps it was said best today in my studio.  A woman came to buy the Love shines CD.  She was drawn to the song, Winter is Over.  She told me that as she gets older, the season of spring becomes more and more meaningful for her.  She is aware of Winter - and how it is a great symbol in our lives for seasons of being barren, experiencing loss and death.  She told me that she has become aware that as she fully embraces Winter in her life, the JOY of Spring has become that much more intense and real for her.  This was so beautiful to hear from this beautiful woman.  She summed up all that I would want to say here by that one thought.....
Because of her acceptance of the darkness - she is able to fully enter into the celebration of the light....and the joy was all over her face.
To opt for joy - perhaps involves embracing our suffering, weeping with those who weep, singing with those who sing and dancing with those who dance.  In entering life fully in all that it offers, we will taste joy.

remember sister.....

This weekend I am privileged to share music in a few places.  The first is at the PASCH conference in Abbotsford http://fromtheshadows.ca/.  Their theme is 'loving, reflecting and pursuing justice together'.  The conference is about exploring social justice especially in the home - in our most intimate relationships.  Powerful stuff.  I am honoured to sing songs amidst story telling and poetry and a call to justice.
The second place I'll be sharing music is with Deborah Handley and the Seranata Singers of Mission (Saturday 7:30 pm St. Andrew's United) http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=224148510934857
I'll be playing recorder with two amazing students of mine, Megan Vandenberg and Dharma Smith - accompanying the choir.  We'll also do a couple songs on our own.  Rebecca Sichon will be singing Ordinary Miracle with me as well as Winter is Over.  Boris Sichon will be accompanying on percussion.  It will be an wonderful evening.
A song I will be sharing in both places from the Love Shines recording is Every time.....
the words have been powerful for me this week, especially the line;
'remember sister, you are free'

What is freedom?
As I hear the recording - I am wondering what I have yet to learn about all I have sung about!
What is true inner freedom?
For today, it is the choice to be grateful.....even as I live with complicated uncertainties
It is the choice of expressing love to those around me
It is the choice to keep dreaming
It is the choice to be fully alive and to invite those around me also to life.

What keeps me from freedom? - what holds me back is perhaps a 'poverty mentality' that says I need this or that to be free....I will be more happy when this is in place.  Freedom says - it is here - it is now - it is within.  This is a hard truth and one that awakens me to parts of myself where greater freedom is yet to come.

but .....I am human!  I am learning and growing and I will keep singing this song and remembering....
I am free

being mama - mother's day May 8, 2011

I have two beautiful daughters; Pera & Brianna
They have been and are two of the greatest gifts of my life
I remember coming home from the hospital with Pera after she was born and wondering if the police should stop me
what did I know about being a mother?
what kind of damage could I cause to this human being placed in my trust?
how did I become entrusted with the care of this frail human being?
It is an ultimate trust - to be given a child
A life has been placed in your hands
to give value to
to care for
to nourish
to provide for
I was terrified of making mistakes and hurting my daughters
I was terrified of failing in my role as 'mom'.
But - what a learning this adventure has been.
One of the greatest gifts they taught me was
to say
I'm sorry
I was wrong
I learned freedom in being human
I learned that it is OK to make mistakes - and I could allow them to make mistakes too
I learned to tell the truth and be more honest about my feelings
I learned to joke and have fun
I learned that a schedule is not always the most important thing
I learned that an orderly house isn't always possible when there are bedtime stories to be read
I learned that small hands like to help and not to push them away
I learned that the trust of a child is not to be taken for granted - it is a privilege
I learned that the love of a teen is not to be taken for granted - it is a gift
I learned to let go and that close-ness is not my right
I learned to celebrate two beautiful lives that are dancing their own dance
I am continuing to learn and learn and learn
Pera and Brianna - thank you for all you have taught me on this journey of motherhood.
I love you.

Mom - thank you for being my mom and for your zest for life and wild determination to stay positive no matter what.  Love you too.

Boris Sichon & me at Songs, Strings Steps - Abby Arts Centre May 2011

being a gypsy woman
this week I was able to enter the joy of being a 'gypsy' woman with the
Songs, Strings & Steps Performance (Calvin Dyck & youth orchestra)
I performed 'Secrets' with Kevin Boese,  'Ordinary Miracle' with Rebecca Sichon
and the 'Gypsy Song Medley' with Boris Sichon.
For each of these songs I was able to don a new costume...
the 'urban music chic girl' for Secrets - the 'classy piano player/singer' for Ordinary Miracle
- and the 'wild gypsy' for our Gypsy tunes.
In the weeks leading up to the show I had fun gathering my gypsy costume which included head scarf, two other scarfs, colorful skirt and loads of jewelry including jingly ankle bracelets, huge rings and necklaces.
There was something liberating about putting that costume on - it was simply FUN.
I have heard that to really know ourselves and what our deepest passions are is to follow our bliss - to follow what brings us 'joy'...to pay attention to those moments that are truly FUN and do more of that in our day to day lives.
Learning these folk gypsy songs with Boris has been extremely fun
when you sing a gypsy song - you cannot be contained
you cannot be shy
you cannot be intimidated - you must....
let it OUT
let it SHINE
let it SPARKLE
These songs are emotional, passionate, and full of energy
To sing them well, you've got to tap into your own emotions, passions and energies
The costume kind of goes with it - you don't wear beige if you are a gypsy.
you don't wear stud earings - you were BIG HOOPS.
You wear COLOUR.
You aren't afraid to stand out and let 'er rip
This is liberating
freeing
to express
to be
to shine

maybe there is a true gypsy in me - whatever the case I may just put on that costume a few more times :-)

trust

trust is another word

that has taught me so much over the

past few years.

this morning it spoke to me again.

This word came into my life in a powerful way

when someone challenged me that I had an issue

with 'trust'.  

I agreed!  I did not trust!

Anxiety is a result of a lack of trust and I was full of it.

Anxiety propelled me into controlling behaviour that was unpleasant to be around and increased my unhappiness.

So, realizing I had 'trust' issues - I began a fighting dialogue - 

with God...

it went something like this - 

'I don't think I like you- and I definitely don't trust you!'

It was extremely liberating to be honest.  

all my life I was taught to be a good girl - and good girls should not speak the truth - especially about negative feelings.

To be able to express my lack of trust felt 'human' and 'freeing'.

I could almost hear God laugh at me in joy.

'So you don't trust me?  How's that working for ya?'

So, we began a dialogue that was actually quite humorous.  My job was to be honest and then to listen.  What I heard was profound and so releasing.  I heard things like - 'OK, so you don't trust Me - just let me know when you're ready.'

There was no pressure to be 'good'....no pressure to 'please'....just an invitation -when I'm ready to jump into trust - that there was this Presence waiting for me to work with me.

So, one day - I said - OK - I'll trust you with this situation. I'll 'let go' of my control here.

I could feel the 'smile' coming big towards me.  

My relationship with God has become this incredible adventure of dialogue - involving 3 basic steps:

being utterly humanly honest

listening

taking risks from what I've heard

this morning - again I was tempted towards anxiety

and again the old whisper - 

'I'm here when you're ready to trust'

It brings a smile to my face when I hear this.
The adventure continues

Joy

Over the past 14 years I have taken time  to listen for

a 'word for the year'.

These words have had a huge significance in my life.  

It started out by chance where I really was in a dilemma and needed wisdom.  I took some time for silence and the word that emerged from that time of silence was 'wait'.  It was not the word I particularly wanted to hear at the time.  But I paid attention to it, and responded to it.  When I would feel agitated or restless with my situation, I would go back to that word, and it sustained me.  I realized it was a word I would learn how to 'live into'.  It became a symbol of my spiritual path to be attentive to this word over a long period of time.  

Over the years, there have been many words to live into.  A couple of years ago, the word was JOY.

Joy was a word I heard a lot growing up - I knew we were supposed to feel joyful.

However, I knew that I could never muster up joy by sheer will power.  I also knew that I wasn't currently feeling much or any of it in my life.
To recognize this put me in a serious quest for joy.

How does one attain joy?

Where does joy come from?

Who do I know that actually is joyful? (couldn't think of hardly anyone!)

when is the last time I felt joy and how did that happen?

I started watching people around me and looking for joy.

I started becoming even more aware of the lack of joy in my own life.

It was during this time that a quote from Brother Roger became very significant to me.  Brother Roger was the founder of the Taize community in France.  He was a contemporary and friend of Mother Teresa's and I have been profoundly affected by his life and writings.  Brother Roger spoke of drawing from the 'well-springs of joy'.  It was an image that spoke to me of joy coming from a place deep within....well-springs....something that I can draw from that is beyond my own humanity
..something deeper than myself.
 It is like being a tree and allowing my roots to go so deep into the earth that they find rivers of life in the darkness that sustains them.

Going 'in and down' within ourselves is not such an easy thing to do.

It takes times of silence and of 'just being'.

But what I have found as I have allowed myself to do that - is that 

I have tasted of a deep Love.

I have tasted of something that is far deeper than myself and so beautiful.

I have had water from a very deep well and it has fed my soul.

In this well, there is joy.

Joy that is beyond the deepest sadness

Joy that is stronger than any fear

Joy that liberates the heart

Joy that exudes LIFE
I do not feel JOY all the time  - but I have tasted enough of it that I am hungry for it all the time and want to continue to learn how to draw from this well in deeper and deeper measures.
Joy has an amazing effect on our relationships and surroundings.  I have found it to be contagious once someone is carrying it.  I have found it can also disappear quickly by just a word or a glance.
Joy speaks to me of a life of HOPE
and a belief that Love exists
and that Love sustains all things
Joy
Joy
Joy
If you have thoughts about 'joy' I'd love to hear them.......

Vernon Visit

This past weekend i visited mom and dad in Vernon.

Many of you know they have gone through a lot of trauma in the past 2 months especially.

Dad almost died twice and mom has been super sick too.

They are currently in a temporary care home situation but plan to actually go home tomorrow - 

we are all holding our breath to see how that will work for them.

Yesterday I asked if they wanted to go for a drive.

They jumped at the chance to get some fresh air and the feeling of sun on their backs.

So we drove to a beautiful spot called Turtle Mountain and I took this funny picture of the

 three of us with my laptop.

Mom and Dad are having to face a future they didn't expect  

with huge health issues, loss of strength and mobility.

It is not an easy time for them, but we were able to have a good visit with 

lots of laughs and teasing thrown in.

I know they are going to try to make the best

of whatever comes their way in the next few days and weeks.

One quote from mom......when you ask her how she is feeling today (and this is her constant response)

 "Oh - better than yesterday!"

I'm glad it's always today and never yesterday!!!