being mama - mother's day May 8, 2011
I have two beautiful daughters; Pera & Brianna
They have been and are two of the greatest gifts of my life
I remember coming home from the hospital with Pera after she was born and wondering if the police should stop me
what did I know about being a mother?
what kind of damage could I cause to this human being placed in my trust?
how did I become entrusted with the care of this frail human being?
It is an ultimate trust - to be given a child
A life has been placed in your hands
to give value to
to care for
to provide for
I was terrified of making mistakes and hurting my daughters
I was terrified of failing in my role as 'mom'.
But - what a learning this adventure has been.
One of the greatest gifts they taught me was
I was wrong
I learned freedom in being human
I learned that it is OK to make mistakes - and I could allow them to make mistakes too
I learned to tell the truth and be more honest about my feelings
I learned to joke and have fun
I learned that a schedule is not always the most important thing
I learned that an orderly house isn't always possible when there are bedtime stories to be read
I learned that small hands like to help and not to push them away
I learned that the trust of a child is not to be taken for granted - it is a privilege
I learned that the love of a teen is not to be taken for granted - it is a gift
I learned to let go and that close-ness is not my right
I learned to celebrate two beautiful lives that are dancing their own dance
I am continuing to learn and learn and learn
Pera and Brianna - thank you for all you have taught me on this journey of motherhood.
I love you.
Mom - thank you for being my mom and for your zest for life and wild determination to stay positive no matter what. Love you too.