Friday, February 24, 2012

my real appointment today.....thank you

Today there was a moment
that surprised me
unexpected encounter
pause
breathe
be aware
be awake
give thanks

I was in a new doctor's office
and waiting for my name to be called
an elderly woman sat two chairs over
and started to talk

elderly woman:  have you been here before? this is my first time
me: (I don't feel like chatting....)  yes, my first time

elderly woman:  I think it feels nice in here
me: mmmm ( remember I don't feel like chatting)

elderly woman:  I think the staff here are very pleasant
me:  hmmm hmmm

elderly woman: I'm learning to live alone
pause
I soak in her words.....'I'm learning to live alone'

I have a moment inside of me where I transition from....'please stop talking to me' to - 'Cathy, wake up.....be awake, be aware'..... and I feel a shiver go through my body -

I turn and gaze into this face beside me......

me:  what happened?
elderly woman:  my husband died 2 years ago.  We were married 52 years.  I'm alone now.

me:  Did you have any children?
elderly woman - pain shooting across her face: yes, I had five sons.  They all died.
me: gasp
elderly woman:  yes, 2 died in car accidents, one died in a boating accident and 2 died of muscular dystrophy.

elderly woman - with a loving look in her face:  are you married?
me:  I'm alone too.  I'm learning to live alone for the first time. My marriage has ended.
elderly woman:  sometimes things need to end.  sometimes it is better.
me:  silence.....deeply listening

elderly woman:  you know, I could give up on life.  I know a woman, she gave up.  She couldn't face being alone and so she just sat in her rocking chair every day.  Now she is in the psyche ward.  I get afraid too, afraid of being old by myself.  But I choose to get involved.  I'm going to Uganda next week to volunteer! And I volunteer in the community. I've started having 'girls nights' with my friends!  Even though I don't understand all of life, I believe in eternity and everything will be OK.  I know that God is with me, even when I don't understand all the loss.

As she tells me this, I am gazing into her face.  Her eyes become sparkly and bright and she speaks with a 'knowing'.  She is radiant with beauty through her wrinkles and white hair.

I reach into my purse.
I take out a 'Love Shines' CD.

me:  I'm a musician - I want to share this with you.  Thank you for talking to me.

I take her hand.

me: I'm Cathy
elderly woman:  I'm Erna

Reception desk:  Cathy, time for your appointment.

me:  I believe I just had my appointment.

15 comments:

Grace said...

brought tears to my eyes.
awesome.

nancy in ks said...

You are a writer, too! What a breath taking story. Thank you for sharing it.

nancy in ks said...

You are a writer, too! What a breath-taking story. Thank you for sharing it.

Esther said...

I think you both met an angel today. God bless you Cathy.

Joyce said...

Oh Cathy, what an amazing God moment, and to think that you ALMOST missed it. It does make one think about keeping their eyes and ears open to God's voice

Cat said...

wow
tears running down my cheeks....
"I am learning to live alone...."
these words are so powerful to me..will be writing those in my journal tonight
Cathy these kind of appointments are amazing...I am glad you choose the "other" voice and not the solo voice
what an amazing gift my friend
you deserve such gifts
love you

Love and Light

mishi123 said...

Thank you, Cathy, for this reminder that divine appointments can happen anywhere, anytime. And that they do happen.
Loved it.

Meagan said...

Wow, Cathy. What a beautiful appointment.

Meagan said...

Wow, Cathy. What a beautiful meeting.

jscfk said...

Wow, Cathy. This is amazing. What a wonderful God.

syl said...

so beautiful to read about your appointment and a divine one it is! God is teaching me about divine appointments in the middle of a "storm". 3 months ago God met me in powerful ways at your silent retreat, 3 weeks ago my husband had a stroke while we were visiting in Surrey. God is bringing amazing healing through the prayers of so many! We have had divine appointments even while in hospital. Thank you for sharing Cathy!

Cat said...

linked this to my post this morning...re-read it and am still sitting here with tears
such amazing beauty
such amazing grace
indeed
it is a good life

love and light

carmen said...

what a beautiful encounter. angels we are to one another sometimes. thanks for sharing!
- carmen
via cat

Cat said...

~via Cat~ WOW so beautiful I'm sitting here thinking WOW

Amy said...

Oh my gracious... tears.
I am speechless.
...
Beautiful encounter. just beautiful.