and we will continue singing

This past Tuesday night my daughter Brianna woke me up at 3am.  She had just received a call from her very close friend Savannah letting her know that Savannah's boyfriend and Brianna's good friend Marco had died.  Marco was the young man who died in the boating accident, which has received a lot of news coverage this week.  He graduated this past June with Brianna and received a full scholarship to the University of the Fraser Valley.  He was an amazing musician and a fun-loving personality.  I had the joy of having Marco play with me this summer at the Mission Folk Festival.  I had asked him what he was going to wear for our gig and he asked me what he should wear.  I said - just be yourself.  So, he got excited and decided to wear his hair in a Mohawk.  Marco was a great person to be around, relaxed, funny and easy to talk to - no matter what age you were.

As many of you know, the song Love Shines played a powerful role when my nephew Christian died just over one year ago.  I was about to record Love Shines as a single when Chris died.  I didn't know how I could record this song - how could I sing about love shining?  So, I cancelled the recording.  But then I thought about Chris and his life and how he would have been so mad at me for cancelling doing something that I loved.  And I looked into the face of my brother and his wife - and I realized I did see love shining - in them.  And so I recorded that song and gave it all I had.  And then I sang it for the 1500 people that came to Chris's funeral.

Marco did not know any of this to my knowledge.  But Love Shines was one of the songs I had sent him to practice for our set at the Mission Folk Festival.  On the night that he died, his mom went to his laptop and opened it up.  What was on the screen was the lyrics/chord chart for Love Shines.  It was the last thing that Marco looked at on his computer and what his mom found in that horrible moment.
I am overwhelmed how this song came to this family in the middle of such utter agony.  Marco's memorial will be a concert at Heritage Park next Sunday at 2pm.  There are many musicians coming to honour Marco and his memory.  Marco's mom has asked me to sing Love Shines.
Love does shine in our deepest darkness.
Love shines in moments we cannot comprehend.
Love shines beyond our agony.
Love shines.
Marco - I will sing for you.
Chris - I will sing for you.

and we will continue singing

This past Tuesday night my daughter Brianna woke me up at 3am.  She had just received a call from her very close friend Savannah letting her know that Savannah's boyfriend and Brianna's good friend Marco had died.  Marco was the young man who died in the boating accident in the interior of BC, which has received a lot of news coverage this week.  He graduated this past June with Brianna and Savannah and received a full scholarship to the University of the Fraser Valley.  He was an amazing musician and a fun-loving personality.  I had the joy of having Marco play with me this summer at the Mission Folk Festival.  I had asked him what he was going to wear for our gig and he asked me what he should wear?  I said - just be yourself.  So, he got excited and decided to wear his hair in a Mohawk...what fun.  Marco was a great person to be around, relaxed, funny and easy to talk to - no matter what age you were.

As many of you know, the song Love Shines played a powerful role when my nephew Christian died just over one year ago.  I was about to record Love Shines as a sing when Chris died.  I didn't know how I could record this song - how could I sing about love shining?  So, I cancelled the recording.  But then I thought about Chris and his life and how he would have been so mad at me for cancelling doing something that I loved.  And I looked into the face of my brother and his wife - and I realized I did see love shining - in them.  And so I recorded that song and gave it all I had.  And then I sang it for the 1500 people that came to Chris's funeral.

Marco did not know any of this to my knowledge.  But Love Shines was one of the songs I had sent him to practice for our set at the Mission Folk Festival.  On the night that he died, his mom went to his laptop and opened it up.  What was on the screen was the lyrics/chord chart for Love Shines.  It was the last thing that Marco looked at on his computer and what his mom found in that horrible moment.

I am overwhelmed how this song came to this family in the middle of such utter agony.  Marco's memorial will be a concert at Heritage Park next Sunday at 2pm.  There are many musicians coming to honour Marco and his memory.  Marco's mom has asked me to sing Love Shines.
Love does shine in our deepest darkness.
Love shines in moments we cannot comprehend.
Love shines beyond our agony.
Love shines.
Marco - I will sing for you.
Chris - I will sing for you.

sing through sorrow, sing through tears, sing throughout all your years

If you were able to only give one sentence to describe yourself, could you do it?
If you were able to only give one sentence to describe a relationship you have and all of it's many nuances, history, joys and sorrows, could you do it?
I could not.
I cannot.

What I'm trying to say and I don't know where to begin, is that the marriage I have known since I was 19 has come to an end and has been ending for a long time....I just had hoped there was a way through.....but I have had to come to rest that there is not a way through for us and it is time to let go.
This year has been a paradoxical year for me - with utter joy and deep sorrow dancing together day by day.  It has been a year of being more alive than I've ever known, and at the same time.....so deeply sad.
But even in my deepest sadness, I've been aware of LIFE still calling me to live, to rise up, to be present.
It is a time of transition that I never thought would be part of my life - but here it is.
There was a day that I wondered if I would be able to sing in front of others ever again.
And then someone reminded me of my own song lyrics-
and they said to me.....  Cathy......
'sing through sorrow, sing through tears, sing throughout all your years.'
As I have kept singing through all of this, I have found the power of song once again.
The songs keep me in touch with my soul and they remind me that underneath all sorrow and loss is a deep river of joy that is stronger than any life story.
And so I will carry on.
I will sing
for I still believe

that Love is shining.
on the road of my life.......