Journey into Silence

- Part I

It wasn't by choice or desire that I was introduced to the world of silence.

I was silenced by pain and turmoil. It wasn't a comfortable silence. It wasn't a restful silence. It wasn't a peaceful silence. It became a desperate silence. God, are you really there? What the hell is going on? I lost my speech. I lost my song. I almost lost my breath. During this time the forced silence became an invitational silence towards something deeper and richer than my current situation.

When I first experienced a 5 minute intentional silent period in a group of Anglicans, all the inner pain, restlessness, anxiety shot to the surface. I was extremely agitated. The interesting thing was what I observed in myself later. That the intentional silence in that group that was aimed at opening ourselves up to God, fostered a space inside of me for listening that seemed to create more awareness throughout the days that followed. More 5 minutes in groups, 10 minutes and soon there was a whole day of silence.

To my surprise, I gradually grew hungry for this silence, which then opened up a space for listening inside of me. This space for listening began to surprise me. It opened up a greater awareness of what was happening in my life and in the situation I found myself a part of. It opened up an awareness of God's voice coming to me when I least expected it. It was like finding a '6th sense' and learning how it works and that it could be a daily part of my human experience here on this earth - being connected with the Divine.

This is a partial picture of a painting by my daughter, Pera. The night sky speaks to me of the journey into silence.